The First Fall

Prologue

Prologue

The first time I saw her, I was pummeled with the feeling of nostalgia.

     Behind the crisp AC air inside the gallery, muffled sounds of the gala fade into the scenic backdrop of countless artworks ranging from paintings to bizarre sculptures . Huminga ako ng malalim dahil hindi normal itong nararamdaman ko. Is it because there are too many people attending today, that  the crowd is making me feel things?

      Annoyance gathers beneath my ribs in a tight spasm. Enough to irritate inside my skin.

      I hate it when I lose control.

      Iisa lang ang layunin ko ngayong gabi, and it didn't involve a certain woman. I try to move my eyes away from her, but then she flicked her black hair away from her front, then back to her shoulders—napatitig muli ako sa kanya. I think I've seen her before...but when?

      She clutches the pearls on her neck and smiled as she talks to an older woman. The sight of her lips stretched in a sweet laugh. But the expression on her face doesn't match the way her lips move. It looks like as if she doesn't want to be here tonight. Her sultry eyes, almost as black as her hair, is void of the happiness she's showing. One look from this girl and any man would be on their knees. 

      Marami na akong nakitang magagandang babae. Fucked a lot of them, too.

      But my curiosity about her messes with my brain, it vastly evolves into fascination. It feels like an incoming wave in the sea. I know it is coming, but it still hits me hard and I gladly accept it. Hindi ko na namalayan, napalakad na ako ng papalapit sa kanya—trying to be close to her, but not enough to draw her attention. Hanggang sa naririnig ko na yung usapan nila nung matandang babae. She is explaing the work beside them, at napalingon ako doon sa artwork.

      It is a large painting of a face. No nose, lips and ears. Pero makikita mo yung lubog at outline ng mga parte kung saan dapat makikita yung mga iyon. The woman's hair is as white as a ghost too, and it's haunting because her painting method looks real. May mga pulang mata na makikita sa paligid ng ulo niya, parang lumilipad at iba-iba ang expression ng mga ito.

      The lines and strokes are clean, as if it is digitally painted as well. She is good. My eyes moved at the label below the painting:

      'Her Despair' –Ilya Gusarev

      I've seen her name at the gala brochure. I thought Ilya Gusarev is a Russian man. I may be mistaken. Bumalik yung mga mata ko sa painting niya na ito. I wonder how much this piece is? Will this be auctioned?

      The lights slightly dimmed except for the artworks displayed and a host walked on the stage propped ahead the gallery.

      "Hi, everyone," a lady in her mid-forties speaks on the microphone. "Thank you for coming here tonight. We will be showcasing artworks from various talented artists around and outside the country, so please bid your hearts out." People laugh at her joke. I didn't come here to bid, but if her work would be presented tonight, I might as well.