Surely.. one must think not being human.. is simply amazing. The powers you may have.. potential immortality, strength? But truthfully speaking, it is not as beautiful as it seems.
Sometimes I reminisce back to when my mother would hold my hand as we walked to the town well to get some fresh water to cook, or how my father was help with my strength through training and my brother stayed indoors learning new spells. I'd join in learning new spells too, even if I had less magical prowess compared to him. Ah.. yes. Those were good times. When we were home, together.. safe and happy.
Now.. when I think of home. I think of the aching screams of my people, begging for mercy from those hunters' grasps. Oh. Those hunters. Those damned humans. How I heard my mother cry out, pleading for me and my brother to run away. How we went as fast as our little feet could take us, while we watched our home go in flames at the hands of the humans who hated us.. calling us monsters, yelling to eradicate us all.
Now, when I think of home, I think of the blood that stained my hands as I attempted to survive, resorting to murder. Funny isn't it? How a 6 year old girl had to resort to killing others to feel safe. I think of the guilt. Oh that terrible guilt that ached me so much I had brought my own blade against my arms. The tears that spilled from my eyes as I wished for a better life than this, for someone to come to save me for I was just a little girl who needed care.
When I think of home.. I am hit with the painful memories that ache my heart.. that ache my body.. that make me pull at my hair and scream and cry, begging for some kind of comfort or help.
When I think of home.. I look back... and I wonder what would've become of me and my brother if she hadn't saved me. That angel sent from above.. she was my saviour. How she took me in without questions and cared for me.. just like my mother did. If she was never there.. what would've happened to us..?
Sometimes I think that being a non human is more of a curse than a blessing. I may have been given the ability to use magic without having being taught.. and great strength and eyesight.. but as well as that I have been given the title of a monster that must be destroyed, feared that I will hurt others because no matter what I do, that's all I'll be known for.
It hurts. It truly does hurt.
