Never I Thought

Chapter 1 - Here I Am

My arms rested on the grainy desk as I sat in the front row listening to my English teacher rave on about the underlying themes of the current book we were reading in class. She claimed every book we read was a personal favourite and I always believed her.

When I got intrigued, my body would almost stop moving like vines growing around my skin and bolting me down to the chair. Despite being stuck, I was in more peace than I had ever been, dreading the moment that the bell would chime for the end of class and the spell would be broken.

I would have to climb back into my skin and resume my normality pretending that I didn't enjoy listening to our English teacher ramble on about a book that I doubted half my classmates even read.
It couldn't be helped, I was a sucker for knowledge, retaining the smallest amounts offered like it was a free sample sitting outside a bakery. Just as the scent of fresh cooked bread would draw anyone in, the opportunity to know did the same to me.

The bell rang. The loud crack echoing in the school halls like an long strike of lightning. One would think they would make a quieter bell instead of deafening the youth's ears that were still developing. I let my fingers tap on the light wood and just like that I was aware of everything around me, my classmates trampled out of the room like something magical was waiting for them on the other side.

"You would think they would at least wait for me to finish my sentence," my English teacher, Mrs Delvin, remarked as she walked over to stand in front of my desk.

She was my favourite teacher, she knew how to make English more entertaining through fun PowerPoints and using distinct voices for characters. But not just that, she would always listen to me and my question no matter how complicated I worded them. When she answered them she was only talking to me, her eyes were with mine and our minds were one.

"Mrs Delvin," I said and pulled a piece of paper from my bag, putting it on my desk.

"Alyssa," she said with a smile and picked it up, "the only student who does the homework, as usual."

I couldn't help but beam, I had learnt early on not to remind the teacher about the homework when the rest of the class was in the room. Cue my peers throwing pieces of crumbled paper at the back of my head. So I waited until everyone left and handed it in that way everyone got what they wanted.

Delvin quickly ran her eyes over the paper and then walked over to her desk, "I'm sure your essay will be as promising as always. Did you... sign up for that tutoring program? There's definitely some kids who would excel with your help."

I stood up, picking up my green backpack and shrugging it over my shoulders, "well, I'm still considering it. I mean, no offence to those kids but I think my time will be better spent elsewhere."

Delvin rolled her eyes, "Alyssa, you're already top of your classes and getting full marks, I'm sure you can spare one hour once a week to helping others that really need it. School is about community and building connections and friendships."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes because if school could be anything it definitely wasn't about community. By the time the first year of high school finished everyone had their set group of friends, if you didn't have any friends by the second year, good luck, you were on your own or until a fight happened in a friend group and they split up and looked for other people.

High school was a chaotic mess of screaming children and frustrated teachers where everyone thinks slurs are cool and following the rules isn't. I didn't need connections, as soon as I got to graduate it was goodbye to Belford Fields High and hello to a life anywhere else.

"It'll look really good on applications and your resume," Delvin said realising her previous words meant nothing to me.

Finally, I allowed myself to nod, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give it a go, but if my grades slip I'm getting that hour back to myself."