Never I Thought

Chapter 34 - Never I Thought

Students were whispering, spreading half truthful rumours laced with half lies. Robin was missing classes and the classes he did go to, he had such a fiery attitude that the teachers ended up telling him to leave.

Between my twisted feelings for him and the problems he was dealing with his mum, I knew he had a lot of pent up frustration that was leaving him exposed. He wasn't used to having to hide so much and I wanted to support him. I needed to be there for him.

Obviously, Robin must've forgotten about my determination when I wanted something because I forced Matt to get his schedule so I could meet him in front of every classroom and force him to talk to me.

No longer did I want to cower in the familiarity just because it was the safe option. Though confronting complicated feelings scared me, it was something I had to know in order to understand myself better. It began with Robin and forcing myself to hate him because it was so much simpler than giving in but now I wanted to accept it.

The bell rang and I threw my studs into my bag, standing up to race out of the classroom along with my other classmates, hoping I could catch him as I had heard from Mabel that he had turned up during the break.

"Alyssa," Mrs Delvin said from her desk.

Internally, I groaned. Though I loved my English teacher, I was losing valuable seconds to spend stalking a guy who was avoiding me the best he could.

I pressed my lips into a smile and walked over to her desk, "Mrs Delvin."

"Did you do that essay? You seemed like you were about to bolt, I wouldn't want my only good student's grades begin to suffer," she raised her eyebrows.

I opened my bag and placed the essay on her desk, it had been sitting in my bag for two days I had just forgotten to hand it in. I sent her a sheepish look as an apology.

"Sorry, I've been a little distracted but I promise it won't happen again."

"You know I just want the best for you," Mrs Delvin smiled, "you have so much potential and I know you don't want to waste it. How's that tutoring going by the way? Still in it?"

Nikki and Mila had become more than just two students I was being forced to tutor. They had become my friends and I couldn't imagine not spending every Wednesday afternoon with their electric energy and love for bickering. They didn't even need Robin and I as tutors anymore and when they would eventually stop, I knew they'd still remain in my life.

"Yeah, I suppose it wasn't the waste of time I thought it was," I smiled slightly.

"That's wonderful to hear, Alyssa, that's why you should keep trying new things. It doesn't matter if you like it or not, it's what you learn from it."

I nodded and took it as my cue to leave, saying goodbye and closing the classroom door with a bit of a slam as I tried to quicken my pace.

Maybe there was still time.

I rounded the corner and an elbow came at my nose at lightning speed.

"Ow!" I cried out.

"Oops," came an apologetic tone.

Immediately I opened my eyes. I recognised that voice anywhere.

"Robin," I breathed, "I've been looking for you."

His nose wrinkled, "I know. I've been trying to maintain the little dignity I have left, Mcurth."

"I am so sorry—"

'I don't care," he cut me off, shaking his head, "I have a class to get to."

He brushed past me, the action slowing down as I turned my head to watch him. I felt that brief warmth that I had once fallen asleep entangled to, I breathed in the minty cologne, so strong and icy but a reminiscent of all the times we spent together, when he was way too close but never moved away. I wasn't ready to lose all that and force us to return to strangers, to enemies.