Breathing In Nightmares || 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

Chapter Twenty-Eight

It's already been two days now,and Amaya is not home.I've asked everyone and nobody knows where she is.

We filed a missing case and Zoe's mother is investigating the case.

There are posters of her everywhere and even on socials.

But still no sign of her.

I can't sleep at night, because I keep on wondering where she is,where did she slept and what she ate.

I just can't stop thinking about her.

And it kind of hurts because my mother is cause of this, I really wish Amaya had refused to go to work.

I even slept in her room so that I could feel her presence with me but it's not working.

I even forgot her voice and that hurts.

I get up and stare into thin air, wondering what I should do.
Maybe if I clean her room,she would be happy and that could easily distract me for now...

I get up and walk out the bedroom heading towards the bathroom.

I enter and the first thing I do is wash my face with cold water,I don't even have the motivation to shower so the least I could do is just wash my face,brush my hair and teeth.

I grab my toothbrush and apply toothpaste on it and start brushing.

After I'm done with that I dry my face with a face cloth and moisturise my lips with vaseline.

I grab the broom and rush back up the stairs getting ready to sweep.

It's not actually that messy,I just want to clear and clean or even dust some things out.

I start with with corner of the room and pick up some of the stuff on the stuff that are dropped on the floor.

But a brown envelope catches  the corner of my eye,making my inside burn with curiosity.

I drop the broom onto the floor and pick up the envelope and i observe i.,I notice that there is no recipient's name written on it.But I can still feel something in it.

Should I open it?
But that's invading privacy.
So I shouldn't..but there is no one's  name on it.
So maybe I should open it.

I will close it again either way.

I carefully unseal the envelope with the tip of my index finger and thumb,and carefully open it to see a letter in it.

I pull out the letter and start to read it,recognise the handwriting which is Amaya's.

                                    ⁂

You don't know how much it makes my heart heavy to leave you like this.I'm sorry...I really am,It was never my intention at all to make you feel like this.

I'm writing this letter to you, because I trust you and also because I love you.

I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me, because I'm leaving without saying goodbye face to face.

But I hope you can understand because I cant live with Carole no more.I'm tired of her abuse.

I hate saying goodbyes and I'm sure that you know that by know because I've living with ever since the day you were born.

Either then that,I'm really sorry for all the trauma I have made you witness because of my depression and anxiety that I face.

I hope we can meet one day,but I truly doubt that because by now I'm surely far from you.

Thank for being sister,best friend and my therapist.

I promise I'm going to try to find a way to vent my emotions all alone..by myself.Like I always try do..

And I promise I won't do anything 'stupid',just know you will always forever be in my heart and mind..no matter how far you are from me.You will always be a resident in my heart.

Thank you for loving me regardless of who I am and how people treat me.

Thank you for loving me for me.

I would appreciate it,if you would not show anyone this letter for my safety.Just know I'm fine.

I'm sorry that this had to be written on a piece of paper,but this is my way of saying goodbye.I don't know when you will find this but I just hope you do,so that you could ease your emotions.

I love you Charnelle very very much.

STAY SAFE FOR ME AND MAKE ME PROUD.
AND KNOW I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

XOXO
Amaya Lydia Jenkins.

                                     ⁂

I feel my heart drop to my stomach, realising what I have just read. As tears stream down my face, my  weakness causes the letter to fall out of my hand.

So...she left purposely.She will never come back,I will never see her again.

I can't believe she did this to me.

She left me.

I grab the letter again and run through the words again...
'I cant live with Carole no more.Im tired of her abuse. .'

The fact that I can't tell anyone is not helping.I could report this to the police station and Zoe's mother.

But I feel like Amaya knows what she is doing.

But I can't take the risk.I need to find her.There is no way she left me,just because of mom.I feel like there is more to this;because she would have told me if she is running away from mom.

I'm going to look for her myself.

If no one will find or look for her then I will.

I will do whatever it takes and there's nothing holding me back.
I'm really prepared to do anything right now.

I refuse to believe what I have just read.