Listen Through the Wall

love when it comes without a warnin'

I'd known Claire Cottrill for a few years now, and every time we run into each other, it was... weird.

For starters, she was so quiet. I never know what to do with quiet people. I feel like I freak them out. I can be nice, but then I don't know what to talk about, which usually resorts to me saying something gross or loud or dumb. Or all three at once.

But she was also someone who seemed silly and weird, like me; it just didn't come out as often. She'd have these bursts of weird energy; I'd make a dirty joke and she'd laugh like crazy. Or she'd break into song and dance around with me for a minute.

Like a weird little introvert with bubbles of extrovert floating beneath the surface.

Anyway, despite the quiet thing, I liked her a lot. She's kind of a genius, an incredibly good songwriter, and... pretty. Somehow I always went back to that. Claire is really, really pretty.

She was in town, and called a couple hours ago to see if she could come over. I'd agreed, since all I'd been doing at the time was laying in the middle of my living room floor while Shark zoomed around me.

I was so bored. And there was that pretty thing... that was interesting. I wasn't sure how yet, but I wanted to explore it.

I took a shower, and pulled on a pair of oversized cargo pants and a baggy shirt. I looked at all my heavy jewelry, laid out on a shelf in my closet, and considered. Something told me to stay simple, clean. I opted for no jewelry, and applied a tiny bit of makeup.

At 8, she tripped through my door with a bottle of wine in hand. "Oops! Ow. I brought wine in case you didn't have any."

I grinned at her clumsiness and shook my head. "I have wine, but thanks. Come on in."

She followed me into the kitchen, where I shuffled around, looking for an opener. I heard a little creak behind me and turned around.

"It's a twist off. I like cheap wine."

I shook my head again as she took a swig from the bottle. I was liking her more by the minute.

"Where has this Claire been?" I laughed lightly.

She set the bottle down and slid it over to me. "What do you mean?"

I took a swig from the bottle, not bothering now to grab the glasses just behind me in the cabinet. The wine was white, dry. I wasn't a fan, but I didn't like most drinks. I made a little face, and shivered.

"Ugh. Well," I said, deciding how best not to offend her. "Every time we've ever hung out, you were always so... reserved. Quiet. Not always, but a lot of the time."

She stared at me while I spoke, and I noticed at one point how intensely she watched my mouth.

"Billie, I am a... deeply uncomfortable person."

I appreciated the honesty. "Hence the wine?"

"I—" she stopped, and I watched her struggle. "I had 2, um... more like 3 drinks before I came here. I ubered."

I stared at her. "Claire— why?"

"Because I like you. And I wanted to tell you. But I'm a coward."

I was frozen, my hands gripping the marble island in the middle of the room. She stood on the other side of it, her body glowing under the light above us. Her lips were pink, pouty, and shaking.

I took a chug of the bad wine and set it down. Then I thought about it, and did it again.

"I'm straight," I said softly.