Not Forgotten

Determination

I couldn't stand her. Why was she here? This pretty young girl who looks like she has never even seen a dead body was supposedly on the same level as Eld Gin and Gunther Shultz. Why was she in his unit? Ouro Bozard was annoying, but she annoyed me in ways I had never imagined. Just looking at her made my blood boil. Why is she here? She not only lacked the personality of a soldier, but also the physique. She was frail looking; like she had never thrown a bail of hay in her life. I hated her.
"Ral! You are falling behind!" I yelled. We were in the middle of our morning run. Even I knew what I was saying was unfair. Ouro was skinny but excelled in cardiovascular exercises. Gunther was built like a tree trunk with arms and legs and seemingly had limitless energy; taking everything he did incredibly seriously. Eld was a mix of both: a fairly average build but naturally strong and kinetic. Ral, on the other hand, was not built for running. She was light but her relatively skinny figure made up for this. She had the will to do anything but lacked the physical capabilities to actually be capable of executing most physical activities.
"Sorry, Captain!" She replied, increasing her pace even though she looked like she was on the verge of losing consciousness.
"How frustrating." I thought to myself. No matter what I put her through, she would not quit. I sighed, "that's enough for today!" I yelled. Eld and Orou both collapsed on the ground. Ral, however, remained standing to my surprise. "You look like a dead man walking, Ral." I spat. "Drink." I tossed her my water skin.
"Thank you, sir!" She smiled. She lifted the skin to her lips before pausing, her cheeks turning slightly red, before taking a large swig of the water. "Weird girl." I thought to myself. "Let's head back to base." I yelled.

------------------------

"I'm going to die..." I thought to myself. I had no idea what I had done, but I was sure of it: the Captain hates me. It doesn't matter what I do; he still hates me. I score the highest on our ODM training course? "Your blades are too dull." He would tell me, "You used far too much gas." I finish am the only one who finished the impossible agility course that he set out? He challenges me to a hand to hand combat sparring match and kicks my ass. "Great. You survived that course and you are defeated 5 minutes later. What was the point of finishing if you are too weak to fight?" He would demand. I attend a recruitment event for the scouts and manage to recruit 5 future Scouts? "Their blood will be on your hands. You have condemned 5 kids to death. Will you be able to live with yourself?" He would say with disgust.
It wasn't just me. The other members would come up to me after getting grilled out asking what it was all about. "This is getting ridiculous. You beat us in ODM training and hand to hand combat for three days in a row!" Eld told me. "If he continues like this, I'm going to report him to the military council."
"Don't worry about it." I replied, "It is making me stronger." I felt like I was telling myself that more than Eld.
"If you say so..." he replied, "let me know if you change your mind or it gets worse." "Thanks Eld." I said.
The days went by and things did not get any better. Eventually, I came to a breaking point where something had to change. So I gathered up my courage and approached him. "Captain, have I done something to fall out of grace?" I asked. "Huh?" He replied with a slightly disgusted and extremely annoyed look on his face. "What makes you ask that?" "I just feel like I have done everything that you have asked of me and gone above and beyond in my training and I still end up being reprimanded by you regardless of my effort and quality of work." I continued.
"Ms. Ral, I'm sure you know that not just anyone can become a part of this squad. We are the Scouts second special reconnaissance squad. Therefor, it is my job to make sure that my soldiers are in peek physical and mental form. We must not appear as a group of humans, but as one single machine capable of fulfilling every task to perfection as it is written." He replied in a slightly smug voice. I was begging to lose patience. "Sir, I feel as if I have done exactly that. I feel like I have demonstrated the ability to succeed regardless of the situation or my natural ability to complete the task. However, this never seems to be enough. No matter how well I do or how bad my comrades do, you seem to only single out me. Why is that?" I demanded. "Please, Ms. Ral, do you really believe yourself to be that special? I don't think you are special at all. You are a young, frail, little girl who is in over her head. Do you know what it is like to go out there and loose your entire squad? How difficult it is to carry that burden?" He replied, clearly angry.
"Stop calling me Ms. Ral. It is Private First Class Ral, Captain. And no, I don't know what it is like to watch your entire squad get wiped out. But I do know what it is like to watch my best friend be ripped in half in front of me-to watch a Titan rupture his spinal cord, leaving him completely incapable of running away. I didn't need him to scream to know what was going through his mind. I was close enough to see his eyes." I retorted. "I know you have seen my résumé. I am the second strongest person in this squad and everyone else knows it. What is your problem?"
All of the sudden, he seemed put off. He was no longer visibly angry. Instead, his face expressed that of understanding and relatability. "I didn't know." He said, "I was in the wrong."

------------------------

"Why do you hate me?" She asked. Honestly, the reason why had never really occurred to me. Why would I hate this girl? She hasn't done anything wrong. That is when it hit me. That is exactly the reason why I hate her. Why would someone like her who is so gentle, kind, and understanding, become a soldier? Why not a teacher or nurse or even a rich nobleman's bride where she could lead a comfortable life? "What a waste..." I thought to myself. How can someone like her share such a similar story to someone like me. Furlan. Isabel. I had blocked them out of his memory for years. What am I even fighting for? Kenny used to always say that everyone has to be drunk on something to keep going. What was I drunk on anymore? Her. I need a reason to live? I'll be drunk on her.
"I just want you to live." I told her. A look of surprise spread across her face.
All I knew is that all of a sudden, I couldn't let this girl die.