New Hope

Chapter one

Have you ever just sat in your car on a rainy day, listened to your favourite depressing song on repeat and stared out into the world like your life is one of those teenage angst movies? Yeah me either.

Day by day I walk through this life barely recognizing myself as I hold onto the person everyone thinks I am... or thinks I should be. Trying to cling onto the fake reality I've created, my ordinary world.

The truth is, l'm anything but ordinary. Life would become infinitely more complicated and I'm not ready for that.

My family, friends, random strangers in the street... everyone would look at me differently. The energy that's stained my soul has become a burden I can no longer ignore. But when left unchecked it takes on a shape that's both self-destructive and dangerous.

This facade wasn't built to last and as time creeps ever closer like an Eldritch horror, l've slowly come to realize that my world is going to crumble sooner or later. I have a secret that could change everything.

Life would become infinitely more complicated and l'm not ready for that. My family, friends, random strangers in the street... everyone would look at me differently.

Like I'm a freak.

I have a confession to make. My differences carve a bigger divide than just your typical teenage bullshit.
The energy that's stained my soul has become a burden I can no longer ignore. I've tried to get the urges under control and I've tried to push the constant pulsing to the back of my mind.

But when left unchecked it takes on a shape that's both self-destructive and dangerous.It's been 14 day's since the last incident. I was in the locker room and it just came about from nowhere Luckily, now that I'm acknowledging and nurturing the beast within, I've learned how to stay in control.

There's a long way to go before I can fully control it, but this is a step in the right direction. Once I understand control and discipline, I can keep it suppressed. i can keep it hidden.. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on the one thing I can control.

I scold myself, running in blind panic through the winding High School hallways With just three minutes to spare before lunch period was over, I had virtually no time to waste!

Miss Morris is a stickler for punctuality and hated any late students with a passion But this was important, and I could afford my English teacher's wrath if it meant getting my goddamn book back!

Rachael called out to Justin, concerned about his well-being. However, he hurriedly replied,
"Sorry, Rachael, I don't have time now. I'll fill you in on it after school." Rachael couldn't shake off her worry, but respected his need to address whatever was troubling him later.

My life is in that book, my literal life written down and recorded onto beige pages. With all the fucked up things that have happened this year, I need an outlet... a place to vent and write down my thoughts without persecution.

Everything I can't say out loud comes to life on paper, my passion for music and lyrics masking the truth behind song. The truths sealed between a hardback cover and metal latch are far more dangerous than anyone could realize. My deepest secrets and hidden emotions, all on display if I don't get to the library quick!

With urgency and frustration in his voice, Justin shouted at the group blocking the door, "Move out of the way!" Startled, they barely had time to react before he forcefully pushed through and trampled over them. Ignoring their bewildered expressions, Justin dashed towards the library, his heart pounding with anticipation. "Please be there... please," he pleaded silently, hoping to find his notebook where he'd previously left it.