"Apparently, he transferred from an all-boys boarding school. They figured another guy showing him around would make him feel more comfortable on his first day," Ethan said, explaining the presence of a new student.
"I guess that makes sense. I'll let it slide this once. But we're going to have to go over my notes so you can give him the proper welcome all new transfers deserve," Rachael replied, her voice tinged with a hint of authority.
"Please... just no," Ethan retorted, clearly unenthusiastic about the idea.
As my friends discussed the newcomer, I let my thoughts drift, finding solace in the depths of my mind. It wasn't a new habit; lately, I often found myself trapped in my thoughts, seeking refuge from the outside world.
"We don't have to be home anytime soon. We can go grab a coffee if you guys want?" Ethan suggested, interrupting my introspection.
"That sounds amazing, just what I need after today," Rachael replied, her voice carrying a sense of relief.
As we walked, I accompanied my friends absentmindedly, the uncomfortable feeling in my soul growing stronger with each step. In a subconscious gesture, I took out my songbook and flipped through its pages, landing on the dog-eared one that held my latest creation.
Suddenly, a slip of loose paper fell from the book, catching me off guard. My hands trembled as I picked it up, realizing it wasn't part of my songbook. It was thinner, lined, and neatly folded, with blue ink visible on the inside. Curiosity piqued, I unfolded the note.
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"Hi, I hope your book found its way back to you. I didn't mean to read it; I thought it was just a library book. I think we have a lot in common, and I'd love to talk to you. My number is on the back, text me :D"
"Shit!" Justin exclaimed, his heart pounding in his chest as the weight of those words tormented his fragile mind. How could he be so careless? The note threatened to expose his darkest secrets to the world.
Panicked, I quickly slammed the book shut, tucking it under my arm. They can't know, not yet...
"Justin, are you okay?" Ethan asked, concern evident in his voice.
"Everything's fine. I just don't feel too well all of a sudden. I'll catch you later," I lied, my voice strained as I tried to maintain composure.
Without waiting for a response, I started running home, desperation setting in as the pulsing in my head grew more volatile. Slamming the front door shut behind me, I collapsed on the ground, grateful that my mom wouldn't be home for another two hours.
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Burying my head into my knees, I tried to drown out the vibrations that trembled through my body. Taking a deep breath, I attempted to remember the breathing exercises I had read online, but they offered little relief. The songs in my book were written from a place so raw and deep that whoever had read them knew me more intimately than anyone else ever could.
As I clenched my fists tightly and shut my eyes, I reminded myself of the vow I had made. I would get this under control. I promised myself a normal life, one where my fragile secrets would remain hidden, and the pulsing pressure in my head would cease to consume me.
