Blame

Leo lie alone in his cabin, sprawled across his bunk. His eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep; he wasn’t even remotely tired. His head was spinning. He tried to calm down, clear his head, but he simply couldn’t. He was thinking about too many things at once, mostly about his mom. He couldn’t stop thinking about that last night in the machine shop. It was his fault. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get her out of his head. It was his fault she was dead. C’mon, Leo, he thought. She’s dead. You can’t change that. Might as well move on. She’s gone.

Recently, he’d been thinking about his mom more and more; his mind would somehow find its way back to her. Maybe it was because of shrimpzilla, since he blamed himself for that too. Everything seemed to be his fault recently. No wonder he was the seventh wheel.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He didn’t respond, hoping that whoever it was would assume he was asleep and leave. Instead, he heard the door creak open. Sighing, he opened his eyes and lifted his head to identify his visitor. It was Percy Jackson, the last person he expected to be knocking on his door. He was casually leaning against the doorframe, looking at Leo with an unidentifiable expression.

“Hey, man,” Leo grinned at him.

“Mind if I come in?” he asked.

“Be my guest."

Percy walked in and plopped down in the desk chair. Leo dragged himself into a sitting position.

“How can I help you?” he asked Percy, still confused at why he had come in the first place.

“Hazel’s worried about you.” Leo’s eyebrows went up. That was the last thing he’d expected to hear.

“Why is she worried about me?” he wondered aloud.

“She mentioned shrimpzilla.” Leo’s smile faltered.

“She knows you’re blaming yourself, and she thinks you shouldn’t.”

Leo flopped back on his bed, struggling to maintain his cheerful expression.

“I’m not blaming myself.”

“Then why are you lying here in the dark, not speaking to anyone? That’s not a very Leo-like thing to do.”

Leo threw his arms over his face. “I was sleeping,” he muttered, his voice muffled by the sleeves of his t-shirt.

“You don’t look like you were.” Leo went quiet for a long while, wondering how long it had been since he’d slept.      

“It wasn’t your fault, Leo,” Percy said quietly.

Leo gave in. “It was my fault. I forgot the sonar. I let that thing attack the ship.”

“People make mistakes, you know. You’re allowed to make mistakes.”

“Not mistakes that could destroy the ship!”

“Hazel said it was her fault too. She distracted you.”

Leo sat up. “But I should’ve remembered! Before the flashback! I was steering; I knew I’d forgotten something! I should’ve known!” He shouted. He buried his head in his hands, hiding his face.

“Even if you’d remembered the sonar, we couldn’t have stopped that thing from getting close. It was way too big, way too fast.”

“Why did she send you?” he whispered. “Why not talk to me herself?”

“Would you have listened?”

Leo didn’t respond.

“I know how you feel Leo. I blamed myself when you, Frank, and Hazel disappeared.”

“How was that your fault?” Leo wasn’t sure if Percy heard him. He couldn’t bring himself to speak above a whisper.

“I blamed myself for getting knocked out,” Percy continued. “I blamed myself for not being able to help, not saving you.”

Leo remained silent.

“I know what it’s like to blame yourself for things out of your control.”

“I don’t think you understand.”

“I can barely let someone else take watch because I’m afraid they’ll get hurt.”

“But…that wouldn’t really be your fault.”

“Maybe so, but I’d blame myself for not being there to protect them.”

Leo raised his head.

“Look, I’m not saying you should blame someone else if something goes wrong,” Percy said. “But just remember that not everything is your fault. People make mistakes. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” With those final words, Percy stood and walked towards the door.

Leo sighed. “Hey, Percy…”

Percy looked over his shoulder.

“Thanks.”

Percy smiled. “Anytime.”

“So…this conversation never happened, right?”

Percy winked. “What conversation?”He stood in the doorway, and looked down at Leo lying on his bed.

“Hey, Leo…”

“Yeah?”

“Get some sleep,” he said with a smile. “You look like death.” Then he walked into the hallway and shut the door, leaving Leo laughing on his bed.

~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~

So...yay for awkward endings. I apologize :) I hope it wasn't too bad, 'cause it's my first fanfiction. I hope you liked it :)

*I don't own leo valdez or percy jackson