Gabriel (Rewritten Version) - LGBT, manXman

1

This is the re-written version of my story, 'Gabriel's. I think this version is a little more mature, in that the way the conflicts are handled are more realistic and better researched than in the original, and my characters' response to various conflicts is more well-rounded and, I think, better written.

Although the plots are fairly similar, there are some key changes in this re-written version.

I plan one day to self-publish this story, so if you spot any mistakes, grammar issues (remember I'm in the UK so my spellings are English, not American) or plot holes, I'd be most grateful if you would point them out to me.

Many thanks, and enjoy the story!

Gabriel Tanner unlocked his front door, noticing as he pushed it open that the door and frame could do with a fresh lick of paint.

He awkwardly kicked the door shut, struggling with the heavy shopping bags he was clutching. His younger siblings, Liam and Rose, came barrelling out of the living room and tried to wrap themselves around his legs.

Impeded by the carrier bags, the twins instead snatched a bag each from Gabriel's hands, and scuttled into the kitchen with them.

Gabriel deposited the remaining bags on the dining table, and called his other sister, thirteen-year-old Phoebe, in from the living room.

"Could you help the twins unpack, please, and make a start on dinner?"

Gabe went upstairs, noting how the sixth and eighth steps were creaking and sagging more than usual, and knocked on his brother's bedroom door.

Jordan was sprawled out on his bed, reading a thick textbook with a look of boredom on his face, and scrawling untidy notes occasionally.

"Can you go and set the table, please. Phoebe's started dinner."

"In a minute," Jordan grunted.

"When you've finished that chapter, yes?"

"Fine," Jordan grumbled, waving Gabe out of the room.

Gabriel went for a quick shower, redressed in a loose pair of jeans with holes in the knees and an old t-shirt that used to have an emblem emblazoned across the front but was now just a solid moss-green colour, and went to sort through the overflowing laundry hamper.

He piled dark clothes into the washing basket and went down to the kitchen, where Liam and Rose were perched on stools at the breakfast bar, finishing their homework.

Gabe put the clothes in the washer and turned to help Phoebe finish making dinner.

Jordan thudded down the stairs and ambled into the kitchen. He set the table quickly and turned to leave again; Gabe called him back, and he scowled.

"What?" He asked moodily.

"How did you do on your maths test?"

Jordan shrugged, his dark eyes uninterested. He definitely had some black ancestry; with his deep olive skin, ebony hair and near-black eyes, he was a handsome young man.

Unfortunately for Gabriel, he was also a moody one.

"Got seventy per cent," he mumbled.

Gabe nodded slowly.

"I thought it was an algebra test. You're good at algebra."

"Not on this test apparently," Jordan said lightly.

"Well, perhaps you would have done better if you'd studied more," Gabe suggested quietly.

Jordan's dark eyes flashed dangerously.