A Confession to You

Chapter 2

'Theo... '

My eyes contracted and I quickly looked away. As if I never know him. What happened back then was just that. And I swore to myself not to make those same mistakes anymore.

I muttered your name and grabbed your hand tightly. You looked into my eyes as if to confirm the denial in your heart. That it's not true.

But I guess the dam I built broke and the feelings I've kept to myself overflowed. You can see the longing in my eyes and the tears I spill glinting.

I looked at you my eyes begging you to stay. Looked at your eyes but all I see is fear. My hand that grabbed yours weakened. And you shook it off and tried to get away as if I was a plague.

And each step you took felt like shards of glass piercing my heart. Each step you took farther away was like ferocious waves smashing my fragile heart.

I feel like I'm drowning and each time I gasp for air I end up inhaling water. I can feel my heart squeezing trying to breathe for air but I get nothing.

I hope for you to look back or hesitate but not an ounce of those I see on your retreating back. Does she mean that much to you that you'll just leave me here gasping for air?

'Mr. Gomez pleasure to see you and doing business with you.' the President greeted him first and so did everyone unfamiliar with him. Alex nudged me and I looked at him questioningly.

'You haven't introduced yourself.' he said. I look up to see everyone staring at me and I realized they were all done introducing themselves. 

It's been 6 years and I'm not that girl who was in love with him anymore. What happened back then stays in the past. I looked up to see him already looking at me and I slowly approached him.

I stared at those light brown orbs framed with his thick mushy brows and long lashes. I looked him in the eyes as if I don't know him. 'Ember Mendoza.' I said and I reached out my hand.

Those same hands that shook off mine back then are now reaching out to take it. I looked down at our hands touching. His hands now feel more rough and firm.

After I shook his hands I then moved to shake the hands of the other two people beside him.
'It's a pleasure working with you. I've heard a lot about you, Ms. Mendoza. Your works are truly commendable. Richard Nicholis' said the guy beside him.

'You flatter me Mr. Nicholis. What I've achieved wasn't achieved by my efforts alone. It's with the company and all the staff involved.' I answered and smiled at him.

Then I shook the last person's hand. Right after introducing ourselves the President then talked about the project. I didn't bother to look at him or even took a glance. Even when he was speaking.

It's been two hours and these two hours were the most torturous hours of my life. Char grabe naman. Nakita ko lang siya agad ganyan na, medjo OA.

Pero, should I talk to him? Ano naman sasabihin ko? Should I say hi? And after ko mag hi ano naman pag-uusapan namin? 

Should I act like I don't know him? This seems a more viable option. Total wala naman kaming dapat na pag-usapan. My hands are sweating this is so annoying. Am I nervous? Why am I nervous?

'Ms. Ember I  trust that you'll take care of this project well?'

Should I be nervous? Ughhh. I then felt someone nudging me. I turned to Alex with a questioning look in my eyes. 'Mr. David is talking to you.' he said. My eyes dilated upon the realization that I spaced out. Sarap untogin ng ulo ko sa pader.

'Ms. Ember? Are you having second thoughts about this?' asked Mr. David.

'I know this is too much of me to ask of you to handle this project but this is also a good opportunity for you to get into your dream company.' he then continued.

It then made me think about the company I had so long dreamt of getting in. 6 years have passed. What happened then is already in the past. I reminded myself again that I've moved on and that I shouldn't let something like this get in the way of my goals.

'No,  sorry Sir. I spaced out a bit there. I don't have a problem with it. I'm looking forward to this.' I answered him immediately.

'That's great! It's decided then.' I then breathed a sigh of relief seeing as Mr. David had no qualms about me spacing out.

'Let's continue this meeting tomorrow and discuss the plans. Meeting adjourned.' Great! I can now get out of this place. Malaki naman itong opisina ni Mr. David pero I feel so suffocated.

'Ms. Ember and Mr. Gomez can you stay for a minute?' noooo. I could finally get out but it just had to be cut short.

Isa-isa na silang tumayo at nagpaalam na.

'What is it, Mr. David?' I asked him immediately after everyone got out of the room. 'Drop the formality Ember. You already know each other but let me introduce you two again. This is Theo Gomez,  the man I told you about.'

With just us left in the room it feels even more suffocating. I can properly see him and stare at him a bit longer. He's changed so much. Maganda na ang katawan niya noon ngunit ngayon ay mas gumanda pa.

Tumangkad din siya at ang katawan niya ngayon ay mas tonado pa. Even underneath those clothes, you can see his masculinity. 

Siya pala yun. 'And Theo this is Ember Mendoza.' pagpapakilala naman ni David sakin. Tumango nalang ako sa kay Theo at hindi na lamang nagsalita.

He looked at David and said 'I know her.' then looked at me. I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes. I don't know how to act. I kept my composure and acted like I didn't hear what he said.

Magsasalita pa sana si Theo but I beat him to it. 'David what is it you want to talk about?' tanong ko agad sakanya para hindi na magtanong. And glad that he took the hint.

'Ah yes! It's just about the project.'

We talked about it for around 10 minutes and David kept glancing my way the whole time we were talking. Itching to ask about what Theo said earlier.

'That's about it Theo pwede ka nang umalis.' also in those 10 minutes, we talked I figured that he and Theo seem rather close. Almost like buddies.

'Then I'll excuse myself.' sabay tayo ni Theo. He nodded towards David and then looked at me but I pretended I didn't notice it and pretended to check something on my phone.

Lumabas na agad si Theo at nagpakawala agad ako sa pinipigilang hininga ko. Why am I reacting like this? Baka nabagohan lang ako sa biglaang pagkikita namin. Right. I wasn't ready. Bumuntong hininga ulit ako at tinignan si David na kanina pa pala naghihintay sa aking sasabihin.

'Don't you have some explaining to do?' tanong agad niya. Where should I start though? But nasabe ko na sakanya to noon. Just didn't tell him who.

I looked down at my palms and thought if I should tell him or not. Ano naman mawawala sakin kung sasabihin ko sakanya diba. 'Fine. He's the guy I told you about.'

He frowned and looked confused. 'Saan don sakanila?'

'Anong san don sakanila? Grabe ka makatanong sino sakanila. Ganyan nalang ba karami na lalaki pinagsasabi ko sayo.' then I rolled my eyes at him.

'Oo noh.' then he rolled his eyes back at me. 'Pero seryoso Em how'd he know you.' tanong niya ulit. I bit my lip and contemplated if I should tell him.

It's been so long but I still remember it so vividly. How I fell for him and why. My thoughts that day are still so clear to me. Every emotion and sensation is printed into my very being. I remember him being my

'My first love.'