(Jungkook's POV)
No no no.
No no no no no.
No no no no no no no no!
Running as fast as he can across the long stretch Jungkook's feet sink into the grass as he makes his way to the familiar grave stone, his chest heaving as he falls down onto the little grassy area.
Thank god...back to my happy place....
The boy doesn't seem to notice the tears streaming down his face as he lays down in front of the gravestone, his chest rapidly pushing in and out as he grips the ground with his fists.
I'm sorry Lily.
I didn't even think about it.
I'm sorry.
I didn't...I don't...I don't...
You're...my only home........no others....just you...
Reaching in his pocket Jungkook shakily pulls out the pill bottle while wiping the grass from his face, little grunts escaping his lips while he struggles to hold anything in his hands.
Come on....COME ON!
"I'm um...not interrupting am I?..."
Freezing his spot Jungkook looks up at the man standing a little ways away with a fresh bouquet in his hand, his face painted with concern as Jungkook hides the pill bottle and looks over at Lily's gravestone.
"N-No...you're not."
Flicking his eyes over Jungkook watches the man calmly settle down in front of the gravestone directly beside Lily's, his hands daintily placing the sunflowers in front of the beautiful marble structure.
I've never seen this guy before...
"Who did you lose?"
"....My...Uh...My Wife...."
"I see...I lost my Amane as well..."
".....How long ago?...."
"About 17 years ago is when I lost her...what about you hmm?"
"....about...um....three? Fours years ago?"
Our son would be four by now.....
"I see...the first few years of loss are quite difficult..."
Sitting criss cross on the grass Jungkook looks over at the man again and blushes when he sees the concerned look in the man's gaze, his fingers nervously fiddling with a stray blade of grass.
His eyes....look like yours.....Lily.....
"How long were you two together?"
"Uh...since we were 16..."
"Wow...so a highschool sweetheart...ah youth is so beautiful."
"Not really."
"My Amane wasn't my highschool sweetheart, but she sure was my entire world."
"What happened to her?..."
"Cancer. We both knew she had it when we met...but she felt healthy enough to keep going....she even got pregnant with my son a year before she died..."
".....Did he make it?"
"He did....she actually was holding him right before she passed...her life would have been longer if she hadn't of had him...the doctors tried to get her to terminate the pregnancy so she could live longer...."
"Let me guess...she didn't go for that..."
"No....she said, "my life on this earth will end prematurely no matter what I do, but my son, created between me and my husbands love, will continue to live on carrying the legacy of our time spent together."
Pressing his lips in a thin line Jungkook looks down at the ground and nods his head, a deep sigh escaping his lips before the man once again looks over at his slumped form.
"What about you? How did she...meet her end?"
".....Blood clot during pregnancy."
"I see....and...the child?..."
Quietly shaking his head Jungkook can see the man bow his head, his fingers moving around on the ground until the boy sees a sunflower being placed in front of him on Lily's grave.
"If there's anything I've learned...it's mothers will do anything for their children...even if it means they can't be here anymore..."
"H-How did you handle it? How did you go on?"
Lifting his head with tears rolling down his cheeks Jungkook watches the man let out a deep sigh, his eyes staying on his wife's grave as he gives a gentle nod.
"Well...I just figure...once I get to meet her again, I'm going to collect as many stories as I can to tell her."
"....Stories?"
"Mhm. She isn't able to live here anymore, but I always know she's with me. My life is one big story that I'll get to tell her once I get up there. All the things our son experienced, all the new things I saw that she won't...it keeps me going when I think about how she'll look at me....with her arms open...free of all pain...ready to listen to everything I have to say."
Parting his lips in light shock Jungkook looks back at the sunflower and then to the man again, his expression softening when he sees tears welling in the man's eyes.
"But I will admit, after she died....I laid on this grace for three days solid...I think the security guard even felt bad for me because I woke up with a blanket on..."
He was here...for three days straight?
"What...made you go home?"
"...I realized...even though a piece of me died with her...not all of me deserved to die with her....and how selfish to her...for me to use her death as an excuse to give up. Our bodies are just the vessel we take up while we're here...this grave may hold my wife's body...but it does not hold her soul. I take her everywhere with me regardless...because she gets to live on in my heart. However I still like to visit sometimes...just to make sure her grave is respected..."
Turning his head away from the man as he falls into sobs Jungkook hides his face in his hands and feels a warm hand being placed on his back, his entire form writhing in agony as he drops his head to the grass.
"I know it's hard son. Loss is something promised to us......but...if you allow your story to end too, no one will be able to know your wife's beautiful life she had with you."
Feeling the warm hand leave his back Jungkook can hear the man's footsteps fade behind him when a young man's voice calls out to him leaving the boy there by himself, his eyes blurry with tears as he gently holds the sunflower in his fingers.
He's right....I can hear everything he's saying...and it's all true....
What story...could I possible tell you....
That I've lived a lie?
All this time?
Medicated and pretending to be someone....or something else?
Not feeling like my life has any worth anymore?
I'm so hollow without you...and the thought of going on...and smiling....and laughing genuinely...it hurts...it's easier to take the pills and not feel it anymore...not feel anything anymore....
I'm not living a story I would want to tell you...or our son....and knowing that.....
Just makes it so much worse....
YOU ARE READING
+ Positive + The Third Trimester: Afterstory
Fanfiction"Jimin look! A shooting star!" Watching the twinkling star fall out of their sight Jimin gives a gentle grin when he sees the glimmer in Y/N's eyes, her toes wiggling against the porch as she gazes up at him lovingly. "You have to make a wish!" "A w...
