The Hate Game

Chapter 18

Eda woke up before six as she got used to for the past several months since she started going with Serkan for morning walks with Sirius. Serkan was still sleeping, which was unusual for him. Eda closed his eyes and snuggled to his side. She could hear how everybody was waking up and leaving the attic one by one. When only the two of them left, and Eda's stomach growled from hunger, she took Serkan's hand and checked the time. It was already half past eight, and he was still sleeping. She put her palm on his forehead to check his temperature, but it seemed normal.

"Serkan? Are you going to wake up?" Eda poked him in the arm, but Serkan only mumbled something through his sleep and turned to the side, pulling her to his chest. Eda wiggled out of his arms and sat over him. She shook him again, but he ignored her, so she held his nose until Serkan gasped for air and finally opened his eyes. He looked surprised at her.

"Serkan, how long were you planning on sleeping? Was this talk about you waking up at five just an empty boasting?" Eda grumbled, and Serkan looked at her even more confused.

"What time is it?"

"Way past eight. You made me develop the habit of walking up early, now I'm starving, and you are sleeping sweetly."

"Past eight? It's impossible. I slept that long?" Serkan cheeked his watch.

"Yes, are you tired?" Eda stroked his cheeks and leaned over him to capture his lips in a kiss.

"No." Serkan shook his head. "Actually, I never had so good sleep before. I didn't have any nightmares."

"You didn't?"

"No, I didn't dream at all."

"Serkan?" Eda asked softly, cradling his head. "Your walking up at dawn wasn't the effect of you being programmed Robot but it was another cause of it. Right?"

He nodded. "I was usually walking up at night by nightmares, and I couldn't go to sleep, or I didn't want to, so I was waiting for dawn, and later it became the habit for me to get up at five."

Serkan sat up and pulled Eda on his lap. She looked at him with a small smile. She didn't want to get her hopes too high, but what if Serkan was finally free from his nightmares and let go of the horrible past that was hunting him? He was carrying this burden for too long. She understood his pain too well. She felt guilty for the death of her unborn sister for almost her whole life.

"Serkan, do you think that your nightmares... Maybe you are free?" She asked, looking him in the eyes, and she didn't notice anything unsettling in them. His eyes didn't carry the tormented look anymore.

"I have no idea. I hope so. Eda.." Serkan hesitated. "How did you deal with your..." 

He didn't have to finish because Eda interrupted him. "I didn't until I told you about them. That day on that bench when you had my pendant, I felt better. I don't know how. It just started going away."

Serkan nodded and looked down. Eda stroked his hair gently. She could feel he was keeping something away from her. 

"This is not all? Right?" She asked him softly. "There is more."

Serkan nodded again.

"Will you tell me about it?"

"Not here, not when we are on the run. When we will be alone." He whispered. Eda embraced his head tight, pulling him to her chest.

"We have time. I'm not going anywhere."

She kept stroking and kissing his head, trying to keep her tears from flowing. From what she had learned about his childhood from his family and Serkan himself, he had suffered terrible abuse at the hands of his own parents. She was impressed how he even managed to survive it and be so strong and confident. She couldn't imagine how she would survive something like that.