Regeneration

I'M DONE

" Calm down, Harry. Please calm down." Liam put his arm around Harry's shoulders and led him into the den. "Sit down, try and relax." He carefully guided Harry to the couch and helped him sit down before exchanging an anxious glance with Zayn, who, he realized, really had been psychic. Zayn had commented just yesterday that he was worried about Harry and Nick and today a sobbing Harry was sitting crying on their couch.

Harry struggled to control his breathing but he had worked himself up into a full blown panic attack. Zayn, the practical one, immediately took control, taking a now screaming Louis away from Harry and passing the distressed baby to his husband who tried vainly to calm down the distraught boy, finally resorting to walking him out of the room to the kitchen where he swayed and cooed at the boy until finally exhaustion won and the baby' s cries slowed to soft whimpers then  into silence as he fell asleep. When Liam went back into the den, he nervously watched as Zayn coached Harry into controlling his breathing until all that remained was a few hiccuping sobs as Harry fought to control his emotions. "Better?" Zayn asked gently. Harry nodded and held out his arms for Louis. Zayn shook his head and carefully took the sleeping boy from Liam and gently told Harry that he was going to take Louis upstairs and put him in the crib with Niall so they could talk without disturbing the sleeping boy.

Zayn gently placed Louis on the changing table and cooed softly as big blue eyes fluttered open and started up at him, eyes that showed Louis really was very much still in his adult mind regardless of his babylike helplessness. "I just want to make sure you are dry and then you can sleep with Niall. Don't worry, we'll fix this. " Zayn murmured at the boy. "I don't know how, but we'll fix it." He swiftly changed Louis into a dry diaper then grabbed a footed sleeper of Niall's and slid it onto the unprotesting boy. "Come on, you get some sleep and I'll go help look after your daddy" He winced as he saw the expression on Louis face. The boy was physically helpless but he knew exactly what was going on just as well as Zayn did. Zayn lifted the boy carefully into the crib , next to the sleeping Niall and then raised the side again. "I'll fix this" he repeated and left the room, shutting the door quietly. Louis lay looking at the closed door, a thoughtful look on his face. His head was pounding with a severe headache but Zayn's quiet voice had been so soothing after all the shouting and cursing he had endured while Harry and Nick had argued, and now there was blessed silence. Could Zayn fix this? Was it even fixable? He pondered on that until his eyes started to blink slower and slower until he finally fell back to sleep. It had been a traumatic day and one he wished he could forget .

Zayn returned to the den where Harry and Liam sat next to each other , both clutching mugs of tea. Harry was a lot calmer now but his eyes were red and swollen and his breath hitched from time to time. Zayn sat down opposite the two men and waited patiently for Harry to feel he was ready to talk. The sound of the clock ticking seemed abnormally loud in the silence of the room, but neither Zayn nor Liam wanted to push Harry into talking until he was ready. Harry was a very private person and neither man felt it would be good to push his boundaries until he, himself, was ready to share. Harry took a sip of tea and lifted his head to look up at Zayn. "You were right" he spoke softly, as if not really wanting to break the quietness of the room. "I have to make a choice...the right choice." He looked down at the mug he held between his shaking hands. He raised it to his lips and took a sip before placing it carefully down on the coffee table and taking a shuddering breath.

"Nick just lost it" Harry's voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke. "Louis can't do or say anything but he just kind of looks at you and you know he hates you, hates all this." Harry gestured to the baby parapanalia in the room. "He can't physically say anything either  but his face......" Harry trailed off and took moment to gain control over his emotions. " I told Nick we could always go and talk with Dr Alverez like you suggested but Nick just exploded. Like really exploded. He started screaming at me that Louis needed to be made even more dependent, that maybe more physical adaptations were needed, more drugs to mess with his mind,  and he started throwing things. Louis started screaming and Nick grabbed him from me and ....... Louis ..... Louis was terrified. " Harry stopped and shook his head. " I was scared he would physically hurt the baby so  I snatched him back. I screamed at him to get out and he did. He got into the car and drove off. I came straight here because I am frightened of him. But I'm still scared. What he comes back? What if he gets the doctor to do everything he wants him to do with Louis? " Harry began to cry softly.

"Look, you are safe here. Louis is safe here" Zayn comforted his friend gently. "You don't need to go back home. Louis can use Niall's clothes, we have plenty of diapers, heck they can even share a crib. Give it a few days and let things calm down. We'll take both boys for a check up tomorrow, make sure they are ok then we'll take it step by step, yeah? Give Nick time to cool off then you guys can talk. Get things sorted."

"No!" Harry almost yelled  the word but remembered the two babies who were sleeping upstairs. "No " he spoke more softly. " I saw his face, I saw his actions. I am not letting him near my baby again. I'm done. " He slumped against the cushions and Zayn and Liam exchanged glances. Both Zayn and Liam knew what Nick was like but they had never seen gentle and loving Harry so determined not to make excuses for someone else's bad behavior. They realized that this last fight must have really been terrible for Harry to be so determined to break away.

" Okay. We'll support you" Zayn said and Liam nodded in agreement. "Come on, we will get you to bed. Things will be brighter in the morning." They helped Harry get settled in the guest room before checking on the two babies and then returning to their own bedroom. "Li" Zayn said quietly  as they lay side by side in the darkness. "We need to talk."