Nowhere

Chapter 15

I wake up and Matt's still asleep beside me. One of his arms is wrapped around me. We were sleeping face to face. He looks so peaceful. So handsome. I must've fallen asleep rather fast because I don't remember watching anything past the scene where she says she carried a watermelon. Matt's warmth made me feel so comfortable. Like taking a nap during with a winter evening, covered with a cosy blanket while listening to the wood crackling in the fireplace. An odd thing to picture during the summer, but that's how it felt to fall asleep next to him. I slowly slip away to not wake him up and go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"Morning," I say to Brody and Molly as I walk into the kitchen. Molly is getting everything ready for breakfast and Brody is helping her.

"Morning, sweety." I give Molly a kiss on the cheek, and she gives me one back.

"So, are you and Matt together already?" Brody whispers behind me as I reach for a glass from inside the cabinet.

"Good morning to you too, Brody. And what do you mean?"

"Morning, Freckles. I saw you sneak into his room in the middle of the night. Talia spent the night crying, and I was coming back from the kitchen with a bottle for her." He smirks mischievously. "So don't play dumb with me, Freckles." He winks.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I guess Brody and Michelle both share the same theory about Matt and me. Brody smiles and I feel myself blush from head to toe. Why am I blushing like this? I've done nothing wrong, we just slept. Like we did some many times before. "Why would we be together?" It's getting exhausting to have this conversation with everyone.

"No one ever told you?" He frowns. A genuine, confused frown.

"Told me what?"

"Matt had a crush on you. I mean, I guess you can call it more than the crush if you spend pretty much your whole life in love with the same person. Holding on to the same unrequited love for so long—"

"You're joking, right?" My heart is pounding. Why is my heart pounding? For some reason, I can't quite figure out if it's because of fear or excitement or something entirely different. One would think I'd be better at understanding and describing human emotions.

"I'm not. I thought Dawn would've told you at some point. But I guess that despite everything, she was truly a good friend and kept her silence. Matt asked everyone to keep it a secret. I thought someone would've blurted it out, eventually. It was so fucking obvious. I really don't know how the dude thought it was a secret to anyone."

"What? Why did he ask to keep it a secret?"

Brody shrugs. "He was afraid of losing you. He would rather have you as a friend that don't have you in his life at all. I guess my brother is a truly honourable guy." Fear... It's always fear, isn't it? "In his shoes, I think I would've taken my chances, regardless of the outcome. Also, you know you are not the friendliest or the most reliable person, right? You are aware of that, right? You would've probably shut him out completely if he had confessed back then."

"I...Yeah... At the time I probably would've."

"But seriously, you never realised it? Not even a little? Matt was so fucking obvious about it all the time. It was painful to watch, really."

"Not to me, he wasn't." Was he? Or was I just completely oblivious? I might have just been in denial, to be quite honest. Am I in denial now, too?

"And what about now?"

"Now?" My eyes open wide. What?! Now?!

"You said you would've rejected him. At the time. What about now?"