4 Years [SaneGiyuu]

6

I like hugs :) hugs feel nice

TW: mentions of scars/sh

———————

Back in his room, Giyuu stared up at the ceiling in wonder. He kept replaying Sanemi's words in his head, trying to figure out if the wind pillar actually meant them. "I'm glad you aren't dead." Was the hashira just being polite? Did not being dead mean the same thing as being alive? Because that would mean Sanemi was glad that Giyuu was alive, and that seemed like too much of a stretch to be true. Not even the water hashira himself was glad to be living. He wanted to make the most of what little time he had left, but there was still a lot of guilt and negativity pushing down on his shoulders.

Reaching up over his head to grab a pillow, Giyuu clutched the plush object to his chest. His sleeve slipped down to reveal his wrist, forever tainted by thin, pale scars.

Letting out a small exhale, he turned his arm over to better view the silver lines marking his forearm. He remembered quite clearly when he made each one of them bleed, right down to the smallest, oldest ones that had been buried beneath the deeper cuts. He had cuts dating back to when Tsutako had died and he didn't know how to properly relieve his pain using sharp objects. Those were jagged rips in his skin, instead of the neat lines he was used to.

Every time I think I'm healing, something else bad happens, someone dies, and I'm back on square one.

Giyuu sighed, allowing his arm to fall back onto the pillow he was holding. It wouldn't be worth the hassle of trying to cut himself precisely with his non-dominant hand, so he didn't even bother attempting it. Aoi would notice right away too, another reason to keep the cold metal off his body.

Would Shinazugawa be upset if I hurt myself? Giyuu thought about that for a while. Probably not.

He gave the pillow a good squeeze, pressing his face into the soft fabric covering it. I want a hug. It was one of those random thoughts that popped up without any good reason to. Who can I get a hug from..?

———————

Sanemi finished off the last of the ohagi, leaning back against the headboard of his bed. There were things on his mind other than the sweets, most revolving around the water hashira.

How the everliving fuck did I not notice he lost an arm?? Losing a couple fingers is nothing compared to that.

And if that's the case, his haori must be pretty messed up. It was kind of an eyesore, but it suited him. I've never seen him without it on before.. it's probably important to him.

His train of thought was cut short when Aoi ducked into the room, carrying in several medications on a tray. Without saying a word, she set them down on the nightstand by Sanemi's bed and went to leave. She had other patients to tend to as well, and no doubt a lot more medicines to lug around.

"Hey, did Tomioka's haori get ripped?" Sanemi raised the question, making Aoi turn around and stare at him skeptically.

"Yes, what does it matter to you?"

"How bad is it?"

Aoi put a hand on her hip, using the other to count off the things wrong with the article of clothing. "It's missing an arm, the back and front are torn, and the edges are frayed and slashed up. I tried to throw it out, but.." she shrugged, "he didn't want me to, so I left it."

"If it's important to him, why doesn't someone fix it?"

The nurse blinked incredulously, returning both hands to hang at her sides. "One, none of us have the time to try to stitch it up. Two, if you care so much, fix it yourself."

Sanemi growled, crossing his arms. After a moment, he glanced back up at Aoi and commanded "Bring it to me." At the very least, it was something to keep his hands and mind busy so he wouldn't get bored sitting around.

Sighing, she exited the room, leaving the door open.

What is going on in my head to think this is something I would do? Since when have I ever done anything nice for Tomioka??

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, Sanemi gave it a good hard tug. Damnit.

Aoi returned just a couple minutes later, unceremoniously dropping the ragged-looking, dirty, bloodstained haori on the wind hashira's bed. "We couldn't wash it because of how torn up it is. Have fun with that," she said, disappearing out into the hallway.

Swearing once more under his breath, Sanemi leaned forward to pick it up, turning the fabric over in his hands. The two sides even feel different. It's like it was two different haoris before Tomioka put them together. The original stitching holding these two pieces together isn't that great, either. He snorted. "Tomioka can not sew."

After thoroughly inspecting the damage, and discovering that the torn sleeve was infact still attached by a thin strip of fabric, Sanemi got up to retrieve thread and a sewing needle. Having a bunch of younger siblings prone to ripping their clothes did have it's perks, one being that the pillar had needed to learn how to patch up those mistakes. Sewing wasn't the most useful skill to have, but it certainly was handy in the right situation. This being one of those times.

Sitting back down on his bed with his legs crossed and the haori laying in his lap, he started trying the thread the string through the eye of the needle. A few unsuccessful attempts later, he was finally ready to start mending. I guess the sleeve would be best saved for last, he decided, straightening out the fabric and poking the tip of the needle through the chest portion of the jacket.

The constant threading of needle through fabric was calming, a still, tranquil silence stirred up every time Sanemi pulled at the string, or whenever he took a moment to shift the cloth back into place. He pricked himself a couple times, shaking his hand to rid himself of the sting with each recurring instance. His eyes narrowed with focus as he got to the end of the first tear, wracking his brain trying to remember how to tie the thread off.

"Fucking hell.." he settled with a simple but sturdy knot, snipping off the extra thread with a pair of scissors he'd borrowed. Holding the haori up to view his progress, Sanemi let out a long sigh. This is going to take a while.

———————

I'm so so sorry for the pause in updates- life is starting to get busy again with summer homework and chorus rehearsals and volunteering and family trips :')

Enjoy the rest of your summer, demons T^T