Fugitive of the Sky

Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Path of Surrender

Liron's familiar buildings rose around him as the snow pattered down in a steady flurry. Natan pulled his cloak tighter and adjusted his hood, hoping no one had recognized him. The guard at the gates hadn't, but he'd been eager to wave him through, finish his watch, and get out of the cold. Barely anyone was out on the streets, preferring to seal their houses and huddle around their fires, or braziers if they had them. All the better for him to slip in and talk to Maru without drawing attention, and perhaps they could leave quietly together.

If only he could convince her.

Despite all his attempts to stay optimistic, he honestly didn't believe she would want to start anew. She would listen to him, but she would never agree. Her father's proud blood ran in her too strongly for that. But he had to try. By all of Adonai's mercy, he had to try.

Natan blew a warm cloud in front of his nose. Please, Adonai, let Maru understand. The few rocks he'd earned in Liktof had long since been spent for supplies as he journeyed home. Maru would be furious he had returned with their debts unpaid, and nothing to show for it. She'd be furious and hurt, along with all the other questions and furies that were piled unsaid between them.

His chest ached with longing to be there with Maru without all the anger and emotions that seemed to characterize their conversations since Natik's death. To simply enjoy each other without all the complications of their life hanging over their heads. If only she would agree to give up what remained, they could begin to live like that again. It might not be the same—it wouldn't be, not with Natik gone and his arm and past legacy dead—but perhaps a farmer's life in isolation would be happier than him constantly leaving on extended trading trips.

And they could seek Adonai's light together. Somehow, he had to make her understand.

He slowed and stopped outside their door. The Namit crest was faded and slashed, half painted over with black and red marks. The flandrot branch for Natik was gone, replaced with a larger twisted limb with pale blue leaves. The door was dented with missed hammer marks so sharp he could almost see Maru savagely pounding the nail to pin the branch to the door. Grief filled him. She'd heard the rumors and had had to believe he had died, leaving her kinless and all alone. He brushed the blue leaves of a traitor and murmured, "I'm so sorry, Maru."

Could he really face her, knowing that she'd had to bear the shame of being widowed because he had turned traitor? She wouldn't know exactly, but she was smart enough to guess most of the true story. Natan hung his head and almost turned away. She wouldn't want him. He'd already caused her enough grief by taking unlikely chances, like she'd said the last time they'd argued. He might as well let her keep thinking he was dead.

No. That would be cruel. And even if he didn't think she would listen to him, he at least had to try. Taking a deep breath, he raised his left hand and knocked on the door. Long seconds passed with no answer. Bolstering his fading resolve, he gave another quiet prayer to Adonai for strength. Just as he was considering knocking again, there was sucking noise as Enek cracked open the seal and looked out the door.

His eyes widened as he recognized him and he hurriedly shut the door again. Natan rubbed his dead arm and waited for him to fetch Maru from the inner rooms of the house. At last, the door opened again, letting out a burst of heat, and Maru stood there looking at him. Her face had gotten leaner in the months he had been away, and with her russet hair pulled back behind her head he could see the first hints of gray. She wore a simpler, browner dress instead of her usual red and green, made for comfort instead of fashion or service. His heart twisted at the blue leaf necklace and the look of determined desolation on her face.

Tugging down his hood, he tentatively took a step forward. "Maru, it's me."

Her eyes filled with tears and her lips trembled, but her fists were clenched and her voice was hard as she stared him in the face. "I don't know who you are or how you got a hold of my husband's body, wisp, but I command you to leave this place instantly or I will send for the priest to forcibly cast you out myself!"