the healing period || shigadabi agere

CHAPTER TWO

TW: MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, CURSING, MENTIONS OF: SA, ANXIETY, SELF HARM, MURDER, ANORX!A. 

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 The confusion and guilt seemed to wrap Dabi up in a package as he walked down the street. He had just left the love of his life crying and kicking in a hospital room for him not to leave him. But what in the holy fuck was 'age regression'. Tomura had mentioned it was a coping mechanism but Dabi had other questions. Was it healthy? Why hadn't Tomura been doing it? What the hell was going on?

Dabi let out a heavy sigh as he slipped off his shoes, entering the threshold of his home and putting the red converse high tops right next to the empty space where normally his boyfriend's red combat boots rested. 

Felling a sudden brush against his ankles, Dabi crouched to the floor to pet at Tomura's cat, Yukio's, ears. 

"Hey boy." The burnt boy whispered as Yukio meowed, and began looking for Tomura. "He'll be back soon." Dabi informed his boyfriend's pet, heading to the kitchen and pouring cat food into the small bowl engraved with the cat's name. "Food time, Yukio" He called out to the pet, reaching to scratch at the small cats ears as it nipped at the food, meowing softly. 

Now that the pet was fed, it was onto Dabi's second matter of business. Looking into this 'age regression' thing. Going into his bedroom and reaching for his laptop, his eyes stopping on the photo of him, Tomura, and Yukio. A photo taken by Kuroguri when the couple had first gotten the brown, now chubby, cat. His eyes directing to Tomura, his heart hurting to think that the wide smile was fabricated. That he actually wanted to use his coping mechanism but was fearful.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, He grabbed his laptop, and opened google. Typing in 'age regression ' into the search bar, he came across the first link 'Age Regression: What is it, Why it happens and When it May be helpful. -Healthline'. He tapped the link with the pink mouse that Tomura had bought. God did the boy love pink. 

The link provided everything he was looking for. What is it, types,recreational, is it safe, and takeaway collums lined at the middle of the screen. 

He read on, collecting information such as "Sigmund Freud believed age regression was an unconscious defense mechanism. It was a way the ego could protect itself from trauma, stress, or anger.

Still, other psychologists think of age regression as a way for people to achieve a therapeutic goal. It might be used to help a patient recall memories of trauma or painful events. The therapist can then help their patient heal properly from those experiences." and "Age regression is in no way sexual"

By the time Dabi concluded in his reading, he was satisfied with the information he gathered, knowing now that age regression was a self help and coping mechanism. But he was also conflicted. If Shigaraki was in a mindset of mentally and emotionally of a child, he had fucked.shit.up.

He had also learned, with more help from his very good friend Google, that some regressors prefer to have a caregiver. Tomura didn't have a caregiver. Probably.  Dabi was with the blue haired man most of the time. Except when his lover was at work, and Tomura wasn't safe at work. If he didn't feel safe to use age regression with someone who had married the man, Dabi didn't see how he'd feel safe with people who had taken turns beating him for being an ex villain. 

The only reason Tomura stayed was it was the only job that would hire him.

But Dabi's other question couldn't be answered by goggle. How much baggage was Tomura hauling around? Dabi knew Tomura had his legs forced open by AFO when he failed a mission, but was that all? He had acted so happy unless sexual assault was brought up. Was there anything else? 

Dabi also knew about Tomura's family. He knew that could be something. No. He knew it more likely than not was something that Tomura carried around. Why wouldn't it be? He was 6 years old and killed everyone he loved, then was left trying to survive for God knows how long, on the streets.

Tomura also carried a lot of baggage concerning his mental health. He dealt with Anorexia, a byproduct of growing up with barely any food whatsoever and dealing with body image issues, Anxiety, depression, and ADHD. He was on proper medicine but it didn't him from feeling stressed due to the mental illness.

Fuck. 

Dabi had just left him there. Hopefully he could still make things right with his fiance.