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the aroma of vanilla filled the room while spread thin by mariah the scientist played low in the room.
i was just drawing my thoughts away. my room was a mess from my episode earlier, i went crazy, for no reason.
i destroyed my room and i didnt feel like cleaning it.
after finishing my drawing, i walked out my bedroom and into my kitchen to get some water.
my mouth was really dry at the moment so i downed it very quickly.
i heard a knock on my apartment door, so i went and looked thru the peephole, no ones there.
i feel a sudden cool breeze making the hairs on my back stand up.
i turn around slowly, but only for me to be towered over by a tall figure covering my mouth.
"shh ian gon hurt you, i swear i wont" the man said.
his voice was everything, the way it rolled off his tongue made me instantly want to melt to the floor and break character.
he moved his hand away from my mouth making him pick me up and sit me on my kitchen counter for me to see his face clearly.
fine, just fine, so handsome
"thank you mama" he said chuckling.
"ian say nun" i said with a 🫤 face.
"yea igh" he said very low but i could hear him.
i rolled my eyes and pushed him since he was in front of me.
i walked to the front door of my front door and opened it signaling him to leave.
"i just got here, ian goin nowhere" he said going into my bedroom.
oh fuck no, witcho outside clothes?? hell no
i close the door making sure to lock it and make my way into my room seeing him clean up my room.
i got a little embarrassed and started to play with my fingers the whole time.
after 20 minutes he came up to me and used his finger to lift my head up.
"thanks" i said smiling showing my pink braces.
"it ain shit" he said taking his clothes off leaving him in his boxers.
he went layed in bed with the covers over him patting the bed signaling me to come sit.
i shut up door and layed down next to him.
"i been watching you fa awhile" he said making me widen my eyes.
"you gonna kill me?" i said about to cry.
"no mama dont cry" he said putting me on his lap and bringing me to his chest so he can wipe away my tears.
"i been watching you cuz i want you." he said making me smile.
"you might think you want me but in a week ur gonna get tired of me, i have too much problems that you wont be able to keep up with or maintain" i said playing with my fingers.
"well let me know what i gotta deal with" he said sitting up to give me his full attention.
"i have asthma, RAD, OCD, bipolar disorder, and anxiety, and im not about to explain them to you so you gonna have to look them up. i have lots of childhood trauma and i get these episodes where i go crazy and destroy things like i did earlier. my last boyfriend thought i was crazy and said i would never find love and no one loved me. if you really want me you have to show me mentally and physically. i need reassurance. i need to know and feel im loved. and please, dont hurt me." i said taking a big breath in.
"ian eva gon hurt chu mama ian that type of nigga and when i see that nigga ima kill him fa you. i love you too much ta hurt chu. only thing i got is anger issues and suicidal thoughts. im tryna control that but ima also need reassurance" he said making me smile and kiss him.
i yawn and lay my head on his chest as he rubs my ass.
"i love you mama" he said planting a kiss on my forehead.
