𝐀𝐦𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐚 || Zhongli x M!Reader

☆ 5.

 Shock coursed through (M/N), but the more he thought about it, the more everything seemed to make sense. He remembered every battle, every foe that he defeated alongside the god. It seemed every single scattered memory that he had was being pieced together to form a patchwork of his past.

"Morax's most trusted general..." he whispered to himself, feeling slightly embarrassed at the words 'most trusted.' It was true, of course, but seeing in print was somewhat different from what he'd expected.

(M/N) smiled as he thought of Morax for the millionth time that night, this time less melancholy and more nostalgic. Thinking back on his past, he believed that the god might've loved him back. He remembered a promise that the god had made him long, long ago.

"I promise to look after the people should anything happen to you, which, it won't." Morax had said, highly skeptical at the time. However, he'd been wrong, of course, but (M/N) hoped that he'd kept the other end of that promise.

Looking out at Liyue, he came to the conclusion that yes, Morax had upheld his oath. The country was flourishing, as were the people. Nevertheless, that didn't stop (M/N) from missing him.

He kept his gaze focused on the scroll, thinking of more and more memories and moments the two had shared together. It wasn't until the small pellets of teardrops hit the stained parchment that (M/N) realized he was crying.

The torrent of confusion and emotions that (M/N) had been fighting back finally burst out, manifesting in the form of a thousand tears. That night was probably the best, yet toughest, time he'd spent since his return.

Despite his regained memory, he couldn't remember ever crying like this. Over the course of that night, he mourned his losses, prayed for the health of those that were still with him, and sobbed into his pillow.

Only one thought haunted him: If I was found sooner, would I have seen him again?

* * *

Another couple days passed, the same study routine in place. The only notable event that occurred was when (M/N) revealed his discovery of his identity to Zhongli. The historian seemed shocked that it'd taken only a bit more than a week, but unsurprised at the revelation. It was as if he'd known all along.

Although Zhongli said that he was happy for (M/N), the part-adeptus had the impression that the man was a little too excited about this. Then again, it wasn't every day that one of your acquaintances–maybe a friend?—revealed that he actually worked alongside a god.

The day before the Lantern Rite, the two ended their study session late, having talked past dusk. Despite (M/N)'s offer to accompany Zhongli back to Liyue Harbor, the consultant refused, saying he was alright.

"Oh, yes, before I forget," Zhongli suddenly said, already turning away, "I won't be able to make it to meet you until the Lantern Rite, that means no time in the library tomorrow." (M/N) nodded, a little disappointed, but he understood that the man was very busy.

"That's alright," the former general assured, "I'll see you at dusk, then. Please stay safe!" (M/N) waved as Zhongli walked away, a small smile brushed onto his face. In recent days, though he'd die before admitting it, the part-adeptus had grown very fond of the odd historian, perhaps more than was normal.

At the same time, he couldn't shake the striking resemblance the man had to his former god, Morax. Sometimes, (M/N) saw it when Zhongli smiled, other times, in the way his face would light up when he spotted the warrior.

He felt bad about his selfish desires, but (M/N) would sometimes pretend that Zhongli was Morax, his dead commander. Unsurprisingly, he still hadn't gotten over the god's death and he doubted he would anytime soon.