A Walking Nightmare

where do we go from here?

"Your ex?"

Beyoncé sighs nodding slightly as Onika echoes after her, he eyes fixed upon her wife for her reaction. The brunette however remained stoic, unreadable where she stood

"I'm sorry baby I—"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Onika questions, arms crossing around herself in a protective shield which broke Beyoncé's heart upon realising

"It wasn't that simple baby, I wanted to but—"

"But what Beyoncé!" She huffed in annoyance

Taking a deep breath, she counted in her mind before looking at the blonde

"Why was is it not simple Beyoncé? What was so hard you couldn't tell me this woman I welcomed into my home, into my son's environment was your ex!"

Onika felt both like a fool and a failure. She really brought this woman into her home not knowing who she was.

"God I feel so stupid, I...how can I be so trusting..." she began pacing mumbling to herself as pure guilt settled into her heart

Beyoncé moved toward Onika, grabbing her around the shoulders and stopping her from going into a breakdown

"Baby, no...it's not your fault, I should have told you the moment I found out who Ally was"

Onika stared up at Beyoncé, she took a few deep breaths in, teeth clamping hard against each other. After a moment, she pulled away with a hard stare at Beyoncé

"So tell me now Beyoncé"

The blonde nods, she moved and sat on the grey couches before indicating for Onika to sit down with her, the brunette however moved and sat down on the opposite side of the couch and Beyoncé sighed sadly 

"She was 18 and I was almost 17 when we met, her family had brought the house next door to the foster home I lived at and we slowly became friends but with due time, we developed into something more"

Beyoncé stops, puffing out air as she looked at Onika who's attention was on her before continuing

"It all started good, she was my first girlfriend and she was sweet, kind and gentle...until she wasn't"

"It started slowly, smallest of things will just get her irritated. Suddenly Frank and I hanging out became a nuisance to her even going as far as accusing me of sleeping with Frank. We barely be out the house and she's kicking off already because a girl looked my way and I smiled back. She started showing up to my work place and just acting crazy."

"I ended up losing more jobs because of her than I could count and was close to losing Frank too" closing her eyes, she stopped for a bit before starting again, all the while Onika's eyes still on her. Listening and observing.

"The day I got my acceptance letter from Buckley, she told me she was pregnant—" Beyoncé stops to just take a deep breath and lick her sudden dry lips

"At first I thought she was lying because she was always making jokes about it but she wasn't. I knew we couldn't raise a kid between the two of us, we were not healthy, we couldn't bring a baby into that environment but I was also thinking... I finally made it, I was getting out of this shitty place to see what was out there. I could be free. So I knew a baby was too much so I-uh, convinced her to get an abortion"

Onika looked up quickly at Beyoncé's confession and the blonde looked away, too ashamed to see the expression on her wife's face

"I admit I had big hand in her decision but I couldn't see another way out, I didn't want that baby to end up in a toxic environment, so I told her it was either me or the baby"