Castle of the Damned | ✔

Chapter 27: Tea Time

Jason sat himself down at Thomas' dinner table, waiting in silent trepidation for the man to join him. There was a tension in his muscles that wouldn't ease no matter what he did. He heard Thomas moving about in the kitchen, the clinking of glass and teaspoons filling the air. Jason just stared out the window while he waited, wondering if he'd see Erin return. It would be nice if she came back. At least then, while facing Thomas, he wouldn't feel so alone.

But Erin didn't show. When Thomas approached him, carrying two cups of tea in his hands, Jason still didn't have any kind of backup. It probably wouldn't arrive. If Erin hadn't returned by now, Jason assumed she'd try to maximize her time in Saint-Vincent, which meant he truly was on his own.

Thomas placed Jason's cup in front of him. Jason saw a teaspoon in it, but no sugar at the bottom. Thomas must've already stirred his tea for him. A kind gesture. A subtle display of goodwill, a first step to making amends?

"It's not too hot," Thomas informed him, catching him in the act of studying his cup. "Wouldn't want you to burn your mouth. And there's sugar in it, like I said. I wouldn't forget to include it."

"Well, thank you," Jason muttered. "I appreciate it. But would you please just tell me what you wanted to clear up?"

Thomas sighed, taking a seat opposite of Jason. "I should've told you earlier. It was naive of me to think you wouldn't start asking questions. But can you tell me first if Erin told you anything about what's going on with me?"

Confused, Jason shook his head. "No. Was there anything to tell?"

Erin and Thomas shared secrets and Jason simply wasn't in on the joke. A thought kept nagging in his head: in every friend group you've been in, you've always been the third wheel. Whether that thought rang true or not, he didn't know, but it made his heart sink, something it had done more in the past few days than in the lifetime before. He wasn't proud of it, but this situation made him want to lash out at Thomas, give him a piece of his mind, staying on his good side be damned.

"Good to hear she didn't say a word," Thomas said. "I told her what I'm about to tell you in confidence and I'm glad she honoured that agreement. I don't like having my trust betrayed." He paused, allowed a silence to fall. "I suppose I should apologise for not simply informing you sooner."

"Inform me of what?" Jason asked sharply. "And why keep whatever it is hidden from me, anyway? Why did you trust Erin, but not me? I've always done my best to be a friend you can count on."

"Your frustration's justified," Thomas replied slowly. "I made a mistake not letting you know. And it's not like I didn't trust you the way I trust Erin. I was just concerned about your wellbeing. You tend to worry so much about your friends, Jason. That's admirable, of course it is, but it made me want to keep you out of the loop. I didn't want you to worry about me."

"You're beating around the bush, Thomas. Tell me what's going on or don't."

"Fine. The truth is that my work and my castle renovations have stressed me out. It's been weighing on me and I can't seem to deal with that properly. It's taken a toll on my mental health. That's why I might've appeared... unhinged to you. I've been paranoid, experiencing mood swings, mild hallucinations... and I apologise if that has been bothering you."

Jason listened to this, taking all the information in, and saw the sense in Thomas' words. If what he said was true (and why wouldn't it be?), it explained so much about Thomas' behaviour since Jason and Erin had arrived. It explained why he looked so tired, why he could be friendly one moment and cryptically cold the next.

In Jason's opinion, this knowledge didn't excuse his friend's actions in the slightest, but it at least shed light on the situation.

He picked up his cup of tea and downed it in one go. It tasted sweet, though it left a bitter aftertaste.
"I'm sorry to hear you've been going through that," he muttered. "How long has this been going on?"

Thomas sighed, not looking Jason in the eyes. "It worsened not long after I invited you and Erin over for summer."

"Then why still allow us to come?"

Jason couldn't for the life of him understand. If Thomas had been aware of his mental health problems and the effects it had on him and his treatment of others, he could have revoked his invitation. But he'd allowed Jason and Erin to come regardless, hiding his condition instead of being upfront about it and making their whole stay in the castle more miserable than it needed to be.

"Maybe I shouldn't have allowed it, in hindsight," Thomas replied. "But I'd promised you two a vacation and I didn't want to back out of it. And I selfishly thought your presence would be good for me and help speed up my recovery."

"But we're not good for you."

"I wouldn't say that-"

"No, we aren't. Don't deny it. If we were, you would've been the Thomas I knew." The tea had done nothing to aid Jason's thirst, for his throat still felt far too dry. His head pounded and his body grew hotter. "I really am sorry this is how you feel, Thomas, but you shouldn't have allowed us to come. The least you could've done was be honest from the start instead of putting on this... this farcical, secretive performance."

"Jason-"

"No. I've listened to you. I've always listened to you. You and Erin both. When will you ever start listening to me? Even if your intentions were good, you've made mistakes, and, in all honesty, you've scared me. I'm scared of you. Even now that you're trying to act like my old friend again. Because you've changed and your changes scare the fucking shit out of me. I understand you better now, yeah, but it doesn't change what you've done and how it's made me feel. I think I've made a mistake, too, and it was coming here."

"I'm sorry," Thomas admitted, "for making you feel uncomfortable. I should've been a better friend. I shouldn't have made you want to leave. I don't want you to go. I want you and Erin to stay. Believe me, I do."

Jason shook his head, which required more effort than he'd thought would be the case. "I accept your apology, but it's too late to get me to stay. You've always had your methods to get what you want, but not everything is about you and your desires. I can't speak for Erin, but whether we choose to stay or not is our choice, not yours. And I've made that choice for myself."

"You don't understand. I need you to stay."

Jason grimaced. "Even now, you're not listening to me."

A dark, cold veil seemed to fall over Thomas' eyes as he spoke his next words. "I've been listening. But you consistently treat our situation like you're in control, like you get to decide. But you're not in control and you'll never be in control, that's the truth. Your stay isn't up for negotiation."

"You're freaking me out again," Jason replied. "We just talked about this. You're fucking unhinged, Thomas, you said it yourself! Get serious help, and then I might consider coming back next year. Okay?"

"There won't be a next year."

"What?"

"Not for you. Not for Erin."

It was the most alarming thing Thomas had said as of yet. Part of Jason wanted to ask for clarification once more, but another part of him just wanted to run. Run to Saint-Vincent, to Dead Goat Valley, or even all the way to his parents in Denmark or his university in Scotland. He was certain fear and adrenaline could carry him that far.

He couldn't handle this conversation anymore. There was no shame in walking away, was there? Black spots danced before his eyes, his head spun. Yes, he'd walk away. He'd leave Thomas to his creepiness and allow himself to escape. Nobody who mattered would hold it against him.

He tried to get up, but his legs, feeling like soft jelly, refused to support his weight. He fell down, kneecaps slamming into the floor, but managed to break his fall with his hands. His confusion almost distracted him from the buzz in his head, the weakness in his muscles.

"Thomas," he forced out, and for the first time, he noticed he slurred his words. How long had his voice sounded like that? "What... what did you do...?"

His old friend looked down at him, a cruel smile stretching across his face.

"I did say I was in control," Jason heard him say, though his voice seemed distant, miles away. "You're not going anywhere. The drug in your drink will make sure of that."