Last Christmas

Once Upon A Dream...

Benny Andersson bit his lip, heaving the suitcases into the cabin. Who knew how long he'd stay here? It'd be a while, regardless.

He wondered what Frida would be doing right now... Why wouldn't she get out of his head?! Was he going insane? Sure seemed it.

Maybe it was because he'd just got divorced? Benny sighed to himself, running a hand over his face. At least he could distract himself with this little getaway!

It was awfully cold in Sweden, so at least the cabin would be well insulted. There was also some blankets under the stairs, if he remembered correctly. He and Frida used to curl up beneath them. She was always cold, Frida. He always used to say that the best way to warm someone up was using body heat. Now that always made her laugh... and she didn't exactly disagree with him, either.

He gave that all up, he gave her up. Why; why did he do that? Benny did it for the child that turned out not to be his. Benny often wondered what a child with Frida would look like... but that dream had long past.

He'd only had himself to blame, and Benny couldn't deal with that. Benny needed to blame someone else for his actions so he'd be able to cope with the loss, but that just made everything worse. In a desperate attempt, instead of taking accountability for his actions- and the factor alcoholism played in the breakdown of their marriage - Andersson decided to blame Anni-Frid's poor mental health. That was a pathetic excuse. I mean, he hated to see her suffer like that, but that was no excuse for cheating on, and then proceeding to break up with the love of your life!

Trouble was, Ben struggled to see it from her perspective. In his mind there was nothing he could do to save it, and Frida clearly hated him. There was no going back.

In reality, however, it was the opposite. Frid loved her husband more than anything (except her children, naturally) but he was slowly drinking himself to death and she couldn't bare to watch it any longer.

It was sending her mental health into a severe downwards spiral, too. She desperately wanted to help him, wanted him to see that there was more to life than partying, but it was no use. They were too different now.

On top of that, they seriously wanted a child together. They had finally come to a period in their lives where there was a sense of calm. ABBA was calming down into a steady lull of production, Benny and Björn were in talks for a musical, and Frida was exploring her options at being a solo artist again. The industry had changed immensely since she was last out there on her own- but she was waiting to take on that challenge! She practically was begging for it.

But she also wanted a baby, a baby with Benny. They were respected adults in their profession, they were already incredibly wealthy and their own children were grown up; so it would be nice to raise a child while in this tranquil stage of life. Everything would've been different that time around.

Unfortunately though, Anni-Frid could not justify raising a child in their current environment. No one deserved an alcoholic for a parent, and more to the point, she had waited so long for the right person to raise her 3rd child with, she wasn't going to risk their happiness if it wasn't going to work out in the long run. And honestly, Ben's alcoholism was really starting to get to her. He was no longer the passionate, truthful man she once loved; Benny felt to her like an intruder in his own body. An intruder that seemed set on turning her dead against him.

Then, he began staying out late, coming in at god knows in the morning stinking of perfume. Benny would either come to in with a raging hangover mid-afternoon, or she'd find him passed out on the sofa. There was very rarely an in between.

Anni-Frid didn't want to believe those intrusive thoughts that told her Ben had found another woman. though. After all, no one ever had sane thoughts in the middle of the night... and he loved her! He definitely loved her, right? Because no one would cheat on the person they love.