Dedications (to the life you live and all that can haunt you) [sero one-shots]

Clouds.

CW: body-image issues, comparison of self to others
*read end of work for note from author*

Hanta likes the clouds.

He likes how they just float around on a sunny day, or how they create delicate droplets of rain that freeze into unique snowflakes when the temperature gets cold enough. They moved with a graceful fluidity that granted peace to anyone just by watching them.

He had always admired how they took any shape; that they just fit into the surrounding sky without even trying. Even the most simplistic clouds that accumulated had this beauty to them that drew you into its path.

Sometimes, Hanta wishes he was more like a cloud. He wishes he could be carelessly calm, and just let his mind be blank.

But clouds probably don't have any thoughts. Clouds don't have to worry about the history final that's in a week, or the English paper due tomorrow morning. They don't have to constantly worry about villain attacks, or the high expectations that their families had for them, or be constantly paranoid in making sure their friends are okay.

Sometimes, Hanta wanted to be effortlessly admirable, he wanted to be noticed and gazed upon even in his most basic clothing and hair and face. He wanted to be pretty. Really really pretty.
But he's sure clouds didn't hate themselves...

Not like he hated himself....

But God, did he hate himself.

To put it simply: Hanta just looks plain- feels plain; a very difficult task to achieve when living in a world full of unique quirks.
He didn't have the colorful and vibrant pigment of hair color that Denki or Mina or Todoroki or even Midorya had in theirs. He doesn't have eyes like Kirishima's or Bakugo's, that were full of life and personality that just drew everyone in, magnetizing.

Hanta has basic black hair that barely passed his shoulders. It's greasy and dull and was rarely ever properly and neatly worn like Yaomomo. He has black eyes, people tell him that they like his eyes, sometimes; he knows that they're just trying to me nice.

Sometimes Hanta wishes he wasn't him. He wanted to be more like his classmates, who weren't at all as plain or as lanky as he was; he wished his arms weren't as long and twig-like as they were because of his damned elbows (don't get him wrong, he loves his quirk, he just wishes that it didn't affect his appearance the way it did). he wished he was more- more.

Hanta wishes he was more like Todoroki. Todoroki was effortlessly and obliviously admirable. Todoroki was so smart and strong- way stronger than Hanta could ever be. As oblivious and plain as he might've been- if at all, Todoroki always drew people in, without even trying. He never lost his calmness during emergency situations, and with his grades, his parents must've always been proud of him! And, Todoroki wasn't plain-looking like Hanta was (he was far from that!). Todoroki wasn't dull-eyed, or basic-haired; his frame wasn't at all lanky or small, he was confident and almost never second-guessed any decision he made; not like Hanta; Todoroki was nothing like Hanta. He was the exact opposite.
Todoroki was Smart and Graceful and well, pretty, very, very pretty. He meant something to the world.

And Hanta, well...

Hanta's just Hanta.

•••

(There's s6 spoilers btw)
So I wrote this as a vent like at the beginning(?) of 2021 cuz I was feeling a little un-silly and I also had massive sero brainrot.

Also, I wrote this before s6- and before "Dabis Dance", so when hanta speaks about how 'perfect' roki is it was more how he (he being hanta) believed the family of a hero would be like?

Anyways lmk if I need to edit anything or like add other warnings!!
-kiri（＾ν＾）