Slipping Away From This World

Prologue

I stared up at the dark blue sky, watching puffy, dark purple clouds moving over the bright stars looming above, blocking my view of the brilliant white orbs. It seemed like nature wouldn't give me a single death wish. Without the stars to concentrate on, I was left undistracted, the pain in my stomach growing, piercing at my mind. I bit down on my lip. The lush green grass around me poked at my body, making my skin itch and crawl. I swallowed hard. I took a swallow breath, causing a hitch in my chest's small, meager movements. I couldn't breathe steadily. The pain was too great for me to do anything. I bit down on my tongue, trying to distract myself from the wound in my stomach. I forced myself to lift my head, gasping for air as I attempted to prop myself up with my arms.

The dagger was deep in my abdomen, only the base and hilt of the sliver blade visible. Blood had pooled around the wound, seeping through my light leather armor. With a shaky hand, I brushed my hands against the butt of the blade. I swallowed, and started to wrap my hand around the leather hilt of the dagger. I grasped it lightly, and started to move my arm upwards. A sharp pain shot through my whole body. I screamed, jerking my hand away from the blade. Hot tears streamed down my face, dropping onto my collarbone. I laid back down, defeated. I sobbed as much as my breath would allow me.

Every movement of my body burned, leaving me weeping and wailing in agony. I squeezed my eyes shut. Frantic thoughts ran through my mind. Please, someone find me. Please, I'll do anything. Don't let me die. The more I thought, the more the pain grew. My panicked thoughts gradually subsided. A wave of realization passed over me in a single moment, enveloping me like a wave. I was going to die, I finally realized. The revelation somehow calmed me. The undeniable realization of death was infinitely better than the uncertainty of whether I would survive or not. The anxiety no longer ate at me, but rather, the guilt of never saying goodbye, the lack of good deeds I had done in my life, never saying, "I love you" enough did.

I blinked a few times, batting away the tears swelling up in my eyes. The dark sky started to change. It was as if tears had been made in the sky, revealing a light, cream-colored background behind it. Parts of the sky remained, but the white tears remained. The grass seemed to change as well, growing shorter and shorter, turning a sickly grey. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see the distorted world through my dying eyes.

Is this what it's like when you die? I wondered. I never had imagined it clearly. I had always naively pictured dying an old lady in my sleep. A face broke through my thoughts. "You know what they say, living everyday like you're dying is the best way to live," The women smiled softly, her young, beautiful face glimmering as the moonlight from the bar window hit her, casting an enchanting glow on her beaming face. Her dark blue eyes matched the clear sky outside.

Another tear slid down my face. Rae. Out of all the faces I knew, she was the one that killed me the most. I could see her leaning over my stiff, dead body, her mouth wide open, shocked. Her body would start to quiver. Tears would streak her cheeks. The grief would tarnish her delicate, beautiful face. I didn't want to die knowing she would feel heartbreak and anguish.

The vision of her sobbing over my body gave me one last burst of energy. I scrunched my face up, and firmly grabbed the hilt of the dagger with two hands. I started to slowly pull it up, pain screaming in my ear. I made the mistake of opening my eyes.

Three women stood above me, almost exact copies of me. They looked like they had been coated in a thick layer of coal dust, their skin a sickly grey. In place of their eyes, two, smooth, shining, black, marble-like orbs stood in their eye sockets. They all wore a tattered nightgown. Their faces matched mine. They stood over me, looking down, their faces looming above me.

One of the girls was crying. She wiped her tears from her cheek as they slid from her black, soulless eyes. She quivered, her lip trembling. Another one sneered at me in disgust, her dark teeth clearly visible. The third stared at me with a blank face, judging me silently. Scars and cuts covered her body and face, some fresh, some old and faded.

"Please, don't do this to yourself. J-just let yourself go, please," The crying girl wiped her tears away with the back of her wrist. She shivered as if she was cold. She reminded me of myself as a child, her innocence seemingly untarnished. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore her pleading, desperate voice. I tightened my grip on the dagger, more tears streaming down my face.

"Your life is worthless. You're worthless. No one will miss you, stop trying," The angry, sneering one spoke. Her voice was scratchy, gruff, and menacing. Her eyebrows furrowed. "You deserve the pain. You deserve all of it," A voice taunted. The one with scars slapped me, the pain of the smack was quickly swallowed up by the pain in my stomach. The girls all spoke over each other.

Do it, please. What are you even worth? You deserve all of it, all of it.

I released my grip on the handle. The women had vanished, but their voices still resonated in my head. I used the little strength I had to reach for my belt. My hand hit a small cloth pouch. I closed my hand around it. With a shaky hand, I brought it up to my face. I fumbled with the string as I struggled to untie it. I opened the pouch in a single, rough movement. The powder inside flew in every direction, gathering on my armor, leaving a thin, yellow layer of dust on top of it. I downed what was left in the pouch. The powder stuck to the walls of my throat. I coughed, but forced the dusty substance to stay down.

"Maev!" A voice screamed out. I squinted, weakly moving my head towards the noise. I saw no one. I swallowed. I could feel my body shake back and forth, my head limply swinging from side to side. Dark, black blobs danced in front of my eyes. My breathing became shallower and shallower until I finally gave in, and slipped away into darkness.