Slipping Away From This World

Chapter 4

 A week later, I concluded that I had fallen into a rhythm. Everyday was the same. I woke up, barely managed to persuade myself to get out of bed, picked at whatever food was available, went to the outskirts of town to isolate myself, went back to the bunkhouse to eat again, curled up in my room, ate once more, changed into my uniform, ran to the bar, did work, bolted home in the dark, and laid in my bed, trying to sleep. I allowed it to happen and settled into the routine. I realized that a daily cycle was better and easier. I didn't have to think about what to do. It didn't require any real thinking. Thinking only brought out the worst in me. In a short period of time, I started to fear anything in my routine changing. I needed stableness. Something constant and predictable. If something changed, I wouldn't know what to do.

One day I was walking back from an isolated patch of land on the edge of town. I kept my head down, hunching my shoulders as I shuffled down the street. When I arrived at the bunkhouse, I noticed a woman leaning up against the doorframe of the entrance. I stared at her. She had one leg bent and resting on the doorframe. A leather satchel was slung over her shoulder. She licked at her lips, looking upwards, deep in thought. Her white hair waved as a gust of warm summer air breezed by. She wore a dark blue linen dress, adorned with a deep gold sash at her stomach. I stared at her for a few moments, confirming her identity.

It was definitely Rae. Before I could work out something to say to her, she caught my gaze and smiled. I hesitantly stepped forward, not sure of what to do. She rested her back up against the door and crossed her arms, a smile still on her lips. "Great to see you!" She said, her voice full of excitement. I nodded and bit at my lip. "How did you find-" I started to ask, only to be cut off by Rae. "How did I find your house?" She raised an eyebrow. I paused for a moment, then nodded. "I went to the tavern a little while back, and I realized you weren't there. I asked the uh, tall, ginger-haired girl-" "Ada?" I asked. Rae nodded. "Yeah, I think so. I don't know, I'm not very good with names," She laughed, then continued. "She said you weren't there, so I asked where I might be able to find you in case you weren't at the tavern again, so she told me where you lived," I nodded. I stood there awkwardly, having no clue of how to respond.

"So," I started to say after a few seconds of awkward silence. Rae raised an eyebrow. "Why did you come here?" I asked. Rae smiled. "To see you, of course! Usually Wane and I arrive at night to make our deliveries, but we had a strict deadline today. I figured I'd come and see you," I nodded again. "Also," She added, holding up a single finger. "I wanted to give you this," She started to dig around in her satchel. I noticed how disorganized it was. Rae had most likely crammed anything that fit into the bag. After fishing around for a while, she pulled out a circular, silver brooch. She smiled and held it out in an open palm. I tentatively reached out a hand and curled my fingers around the pin. I studied it for a moment.

A light blue gem sat in the middle of the brooch. I ran a finger over it, feeling its smooth, marble-like surface. Silver shapes jutted out from the middle, the shapes resembling flower petals extending from the middle of a flower. The petals had small ridges carved into them, the fine, squiggly lines branching from the center gem. I delicately stroked the lines, feeling the brooch's masterful carvings. My lips were slightly parted in awe. It was such a beautiful pin. I doubted that I'd ever be able to afford such a treasure. I shook my head and extended my palms, holding the brooch out to Rae. "I couldn't take this from you," I said.

Rae gave me a small smile and lightly rested her warm, soft fingertips on mine. "This is for you," She said. I started to protest, but she didn't listen. She lifted the brooch from my hands and stepped closer to me. She pulled a patch of fabric from the top of my dress closer to her and pinned the brooch onto my clothes. I could feel her breath on my neck as she fastened the brooch. She took a step back and smiled. I looked down to see the beautiful pin residing near the collar of my dress. I wrapped my hand around it, taking its beauty in. I looked up, a smile on my face. "Thank you," I whispered as I wrapped her into a hug. She gave me a squeeze and swayed back and forth before releasing me, giving me a soft grin as she pulled away. I felt myself long for her warm touch again, but I pushed the thought away. My mind started to remind myself of my romantic failures in the past. I suppressed every urge to physically cringe at the collection of thoughts.