Slipping Away From This World

Chapter 10

 We traveled around for a few weeks, going to a few shows where the trio performed. We went to another music hall and a handful of smaller venues. I loved watching them perform, but I found that I repeatedly zoned out during multiple concerts. I had an easier time going to sleep, and I felt rather relaxed. Rae, Wane, and I all got a few days to walk around a few towns and have fun, browsing through marketplaces and listening to other musicians. I also got a bit closer to Lily and Benedict, not having much luck starting a conversation with Nathaniel. He usually only talked to Wane. They seemed to get along well, and said more to each other more than they usually did in a week.

Lily told me a collection of stories about how she became a musician and how she had grown as a performer. She talked about how long it took to persuade Nathaniel to join her and Benedict and told me about other people she had worked with in the past. It was interesting to learn more about her. I evaded questions about myself, figuring I'd just bore her talking about working as a scribe and living in a small, boring town such as Goldcrest.

Benedict was a bit harder to talk to, as he constantly flirted with me jokingly. He was incredibly cocky and always wore a smug grin on his face. While he could be irritating, he tended to be funny. His purposely self-center comments often made me snort at his arrogance. Listening to Rae and him banter was especially amusing. They both seemed to enjoy talking to each other, even if they just playfully argued most of the time.

Nathaniel only spoke to me every once in a while, usually uttering only a few words under his breath. Whenever Benedict talked to him, Nathaniel just glared at him, his eyes piercing holes in him. He was easily irritated and tended to disappear for long periods of time during conversations. I didn't know much about him. He seemed focused on making music, but aside from that, I didn't know much more. He clearly didn't join up with Lily and Benedict for the thrill and fun of performing, but more for himself and his growth as a musician. He seemed incredibly dedicated and focused on playing his flute. While his dedication was admirable, it was clear he had given up a lot to keep pursuing a career in music. Lily told me about how much he practiced and how little he socialized. She said that she was always worried for him, concerned that he was isolating himself too much. She was clearly very anxious about him and his wellbeing. I started to realize what a considerate woman she was. There was always something nice about being around caring people They always looked out for you and never hesitated to warn you about something. It was comforting to know that they were thinking about you. I didn't have too many people in my life like that, and it was heartwarming to have people like Rae and Lily watching over me.

The warm feeling started to subside as my thoughts began to wander. A voice in my head whispered to me, telling me that they shouldn't care for me, that I wasn't worth their time. The voice seemed to haunt me everywhere I went. No matter how long it went away for, it would always resurface, ready to hiss at me and torment me. It had been inside me for years, always there, always speaking. Even with my best attempts to forget it and push it away, it always reminded me that it was still there, judging me every moment of the day. Every time it spoke, my blood ran cold, chilling me to the bone.

No matter how I tried to ignore it, I couldn't get past the fact that it was my own voice whispering in my mind.

Despite the voice's presence, I managed to enjoy most of my time on the road. At the final show, the trio performed amazingly and included extra songs that I hadn't ever heard before. The show was mesmerizing, completely immersing me in the music and illusion magic. I was in awe as the scene unfolded before me, the music dancing in my head as I watched the story of the songs put into motion. At the show's climax, I could feel the vibrations of the music in my bones as I listened. My mind's connection to the world around me was severed. I barely noticed time pass as I watched the three play.