Caught

Realisations

Xavier

I have no idea what's wrong with me, I have never in my entire life felt like this.

Ever since I saw the absence of that platinum band on Elena's finger I have been driven into a maddening rage.

And I know it isn't fair, I mean she caught me in bed with Summer only a few days ago but it's different. These girls mean nothing to me, they're just a quick way to make myself feel good. I can escape for a while with them but when the moment is over there's no lingering emotion.

But Elena wouldn't do that, if she had sex it would have been with someone she loved or trusted. And for some reason, I can't fathom who in this shitty town could ever deserve her, ever deserve to have her like that.

When I walk into school she is the first person I look for, Lucky for me she's wearing a red dress today and is easy to spot. I quickly walk over to her and she turns around.

I don't even pretend to mask my gaze as it drops to her ring finger....it's bare.

There it is again the feeling that makes me want to rip in insides out, "Who?"

"Who what?" Elena asks back as she looks through her notes and hands me her English ones.

I've never been very good at English and luckily it appears to be Elena's best subject so she normally gives me her beautiful notes when we have a test coming up.

I narrow my eyes at her focusing back on her question, I reach my hand out and hold her wrist, "Who is the reason you can't wear that?"

Elena tilts her head to the side smiling and my stomach squeezes a little at the sight, I might be hungry.

"You know it's very rude to ask someone that." She informs me as she shuts her locker.

I've never much cared about being rude to people I don't like, but I suppose I do have tolerance for Elena. More than any other girl I've spoken to at least.

"Why aren't you responding?"

And suddenly I wonder if she was alright, losing your virginity is normally awkward and messy but I know it can also be painful for some girls. I watch Elena carefully and silently hope that whoever she decided to share that moment with was gentle and patient with her.

The idea of her hurt or scared sends new waves of emotion to me and I try my best not to analyse why I'm being so affected, this girl is barely my friend and yet here I am suffering heart palpitations speaking to her.

"I'm still holy idiot, my ring is just being cleaned on my nightstand but it's nice to know you care so much." Elena sings as she walks past me.

I should be pissed but I'm not. Relief floods through me as I take a deep breath and try to gather myself. No idea what I'm feeling but it's annoying as hell, to are and to worry. It needs to stop.

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Fuck me I hate pep rallies.

I mean I think I'd rather be struck by a bolt of lightning than sit here and watch these cheerleaders scream and prance around while everyone just cheers the stupid jocks.

I'm only here because Noah is in fact one of these stupid jocks and I have something called loyalty to him which means I have to sit here freezing my ass outside when he prances about on the field.

I feel a pat on my shoulder and Summer sits next to me, "Hey." She says ominously.

She's pregnant with my child.