The Love in your Eyes

I | Man on a mission

Kingdom of Bayareau, October, year 1249

MISAEL

I jolted out of my sleep. I was lying on a soft, warm bed, sweating profusely while trying to catch my breath. I had a horrible headache making it impossible for me to properly take a look at my surroundings, I only heard quite voices around me, seemingly concerned. The only thing stuck in my mind, was the pain of an arrow piercing me, but most importantly feeling of my son's body going limb in my arms.

My son. Evangeline. They were dead. But why was I still alive? Had I not died? I most certainly did. There was no way I survived. But I very much felt alive.

I immediately tried to remember what I had seen, before everything went dark. The only thing I could remember was a dark room, in which I had a conversation with someone wo seemed to be important, about something of great importance for me.

"Your Majesty! Are you alright?" It was a familiar voice talking to me, when I turned my head to its direction, I instantly recognised the face of Alexandre. But his face looked different... it looked... younger? What was happening? I noticed I was in my chamber. Was I not in the garden? And my chamber looked clean, and colourful, not dusty, and dull. All the servants surrounding me looked younger as well.

"One of those things I had to do, was to remind you of making great use of your loving heart, Misael."

The voice I heard in my head, sounded, and felt like a soft summer breeze. Even though I could not recall who exactly this voice belonged to, I most definitely could feel that it was the message that was of greater importance. I sat up in my bed, and looked towards Alexandre, who was already looking at me rather concerned.
"What date do we have, Alexandre?" My right-hand man seemed surprised for only a second, as I was using his first name instead of his last.
"It is the eighth of the month October, and we have the year 1249, your Majesty."

I was five-and-ten years in the past... so I was six-and-twenty years old, and Evangeline must then be five-and-twenty years old. If it was October the eighth, then Philip was going to turn six years old in three days, on the twelfth. I paused after my quick calculations, and immediately – as if I had been stung by a bee – jumped out of my bed. As quickly as I could, I took off my nightwear, grabbed the simple black trousers one of my servants was holding in his hands, and put them on while rushing out of my chambers. I knew that I was not dressed appropriately, as the King should be, but I could not bring myself to care, especially when I knew that the family, I had been desperately missing for over a decade, was in my close reach.
"Your Majesty! Please wait, you are still not dressed properly!" I could hear Alexandre shout after me in panic, but I was a man on mission. I ran through the palace, as I had probably done the last time, when I was child. I needed to see Evangeline and Philip with my own two eyes, feel them with my own two hands, to make sure I was alive, and in the past. To make sure this was real, and so were they.

From the distance I could see the doors to Evangeline's chambers, where I knew she spent the first hour of her morning – frequently together with Philip – getting ready for the day. As if I had turned into a madman, I rushed to her doors, where two palace guards were positioned. Upon seeing me, they instantly straightened their postures and bowed their heads. I came to an abrupt stop, only a few centimetres away from her doors. My heart was beating so loudly, I could hear, and feel it in my ears. I was slightly out of breath, as my body was not used to such sudden physical activities so early in the morning. I was breathing loudly and heavy, as my heart was not just beating fast because of the running, but also because of the sudden nervousness, and anxiousness that filled me, standing in front of the doors that, when they opened, would show me the truth of the miracle I was experiencing.
"Your Majesty! What is the matter with–," I didn't let Alexandre finish his sentence, as I had already opened the doors, and was marching into the chambers. It was improper behaviour, and I knew it. But for now, I needed to see my family. I lifted my hand, so Alexandre could see that I was giving him the sign to leave me alone, and close the doors behind me.

Her chambers were exactly, as I remembered them to be from the past. Spacious, with light colours, plants of all sorts, books laying around everywhere, and fresh air – as Evangeline always made sure to have good air circulation – filled with her floral as well as vanilla-like scent.

"But that's not fair, Mama!" I suddenly heard a loud, childish voice, which sounded all too familiar, and made me stop in my tracks. My blood was rushing through my veins so loudly, and my heart beat was just as loud that I feared people in my radius could hear both. I could feel my hands start shaking, and become sweaty. This was truly happening. Not a figment of my imagination. Reality.

"What do you mean 'not fair', my dear?" I could hear her playful tone, her voice like pure honey flooding the room, while she giggled too. A heavy clump formed in my throat at the same time, breathing became the most difficult thing to do. I had my family back. With slow steps I rounded the corner, and there they were. Sitting on the floor, in the middle of the room were Evangeline, and Philip. They had not noticed me yet, still in their own world, while Evangeline tried to dress Philip in his uniform, who was pouting as he really did not want to leave his Mama.

As the two were not caring about the outside world, I took every second, every millisecond to engrave as many details of them into my brain as I could. Evangeline was smiling brightly at Philip while patiently dressing him, and listening to his complaints. Her face was as I remembered it, perhaps even more beautiful, ethereal even. As the sun shined into her room, it also illuminated her entire face, her high, and defined cheekbones, her plump heart-shaped lips, her upturned eyes, as well as the other parts of her body that were not covered by her dress. Making her russet brown skin glister in the sunlight, as the natural golden tone of her skin shone in contrast to her light-green cotton dress.
Evangeline had always liked the simple yet graceful, light coloured cotton dresses, embroidered with flower patterns at the bodice front and hem, with a fitted upper part of the bodice, but from the waist a dress that fell along the body down to the feet.
These shapes of dresses had always complemented her lithe body form quite well. I remembered that she had once in the past explained to her favourite seamstress that she also preferred her dresses to have a square neckline, which I noticed this dress had too. She had her hair loose, and not in an updo –as so often– which I had secretly always loved.

Her natural hair had just always been one of her –many– features I just simply adored. The way her curls fell down her back to her waist, and the way the sunlight showed me that her hair was not just an obsidian black, but actually had copper, and bronze undertones, as well as some gold. And her eyes... Since the first time I had met her, I tended to avoid her eyes. I feared that once I would look into them, I would find myself simply unable to do anything else other than just blatantly stare into them. Evangeline's eyes – I was convinced – were a portal to another universe. They were not just brown but,just as her skin, and hair, a beautiful mixture of tones, but predominately russet coloured. Sometimes, when the sun shone on them, they even resembled therich, reddish tone of her favourite carnelian earrings.

Evangeline was smiling lovingly at Philip, not bothered by his protests of not wanting to leave to go to his morning lessons.

Seeing my dear son as a child again, awoke a sentiment within me that I would have never thought I could be able of feeling. He looked so innocent, fragile, and absolutely adorable. How could I have been so cruel to my own child? I could feel the first hot tears running down my cheeks. All these years I had never really believed it, when people said that Philip was the exact replica of me.
But now I saw it, as clear as the day. His short, wavy, dark –nearly raven– hair, his tawny beige olive skin, and his big hazel brown eyes, that had a slight green tone in them. His facial features, though still child-like, showed clear resemblance of mine. It felt like looking in a mirror of the past –this sentiment strangely awoke a feeling of déjà-vu in me.

He was me. A piece of me. A piece that I should have started cherishing the moment it was gifted to me. The moment I had been blessed with him. But instead, I had been a coward. Scared I might end up like my father, and his father, and his father. An endless vicious circle that I was now certain, I had to break no matter what.
For my Philip.

Suddenly my train of thoughts, and new-found realisations, were interrupted when Evangeline's head turned towards me, and our eyes interlocked. Her eyes immediately widened in shock.
"Your Majesty?!"

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