In the Shadow of the Summer

(Not) Coping

You stared up at the dark cloud before you, ears ringing from the deafening whistle of dark magic. Bright, red flames reached out, whipping around the cavern and causing the ground to rumble beneath your feet. Professor Fig let out a gasp beside you as the glimmer of goblin silver peeked out from within the cloud. You weren't sure what you were seeing, but it was certainly not the menacing little goblin that had been standing there moments before. In his place was, what you could only describe as, a metal dragon with glowing armour that pulsated with magic.

"Goblinkind shall answer to no one!" his distorted voice echoed around you. Your knees felt weak under the beast's glaring red gaze and you stumbled backwards as he dove down toward you. Professor Fig leapt out of the way of the dragon's fiery breath, landing on the ground with a laboured yelp of pain. Ranrok attacked again and the cavern began to crumble around you, a torrent of debris cascading down over the stone ledge on which you were both standing. A large boulder crashed down a few feet away from you, and the ground beneath you began to crack.

You searched frantically for Professor Fig and spotted him, through the dust and debris, at the far end of the ledge. He stared back at you with a painful mix of disappointment and regret and you ached with shame. You wished you had time to explain yourself, to make him understand that you had good intentions, but before anything could be said, the dragon swooped down again, crashing into the ledge and taking the professor with him. You tried to scream but your throat was dry and your voice was hoarse. The last thing you saw was Fig's wrinkled hand reaching up as he plummeted out of sight. Just as you took a step toward the edge, the ground crumbled beneath you and your stomach dropped while you began to fall.

You woke with a start, skin damp with sweat and breathing heavy. You looked around the room, frantically trying to brush away the prickling sting from your skin courtesy of the much-too-realistic nightmare you'd been having. It took longer than usual for your eyes to adjust to your surroundings, but once you focused on the lush green plants and dusted rays of moonlight peeking in through the windows of your dorm room, you managed to calm yourself down.
"Merlin," you whispered exasperatedly, rubbing your eyes until they began to ache. You took a slow, deep breath and glanced around at the other beds to make sure you hadn't woken anyone up. Poppy stirred slightly from the bed beside yours, but she soon rolled over and fell silent again.

You took a deep sign and laid back down again, making yourself comfortable in the hopes that you might be able to fall back to sleep, but if tonight was anything like every other during the last few months, you knew it probably wouldn't be that easy. There was admittedly some relief in being so restless. You hadn't had a peaceful night's sleep since that fateful night. You were uncertain you'd ever have a peaceful night's sleep again. Sleep meant nightmares. Your insomnia spared from the horror of reliving that night, at least.

You hadn't told anyone about the nightmares. You hadn't really told anyone about anything. In the first few weeks, your classmates had asked incessantly about what happened down in the repository, but they'd eventually given up upon realising that you wouldn't talk. Poppy and Natsai occasionally tried to encourage you to share the story with them, in an admirable attempt to stop you from bottling everything up. You appreciated them endlessly, but you still couldn't bring yourself to speak. Even Ominis seemed to be concerned about your reclusive behaviour, though he was understandably less insistent about it. The one person who might have been able to get something out of you had been avoiding you.

After telling him that Anne was in fact not cursed by goblins, you could tell that Sebastian had felt too guilty about everything to be able to face you for anything more than polite small talk. He'd feigned his former sarcastic and playful attitude in classes and in the hallways, but the second you were alone, he would shrink away from you and find any excuse to be anywhere else. You weren't desperate to be alone with him yourself, you couldn't deny. You hadn't visited the undercroft in months. You barely even spent any time outside of the Room of Requirement. In fact, the only ones who knew about that night were the creatures you'd rescued. You would have conversations with yourself while you groomed and fed them, comfortable in the knowledge that they didn't have a clue what you were saying.