Testing The Waters

Chapter Thirty

I stare up at the ceiling completely spent, trying to inhale oxygen back into my deprived lungs.

"Holy shit," Alex breathes out against my neck.

"Is it always like that?" I ask entirely breathless.

"Fuck no," he exhales, causing me to snort.

He lifts his head up, smiling. "What?"

"You're just so... sweary."

His lip twitches in amusement. "Sweary?"

I nod. "It's like you use "fuck" in place of commas."

"Mmmm... say it again."

My brows rise. "Fuck?"

He growls into my neck, pinching my side, causing me to squirm with laughter.

When my laughter dies, he kisses my shoulder before pulling away from me, climbing off the bed. Looking around my dark room, his eyes settle on the partially open bathroom door.

As soon as the door closes behind him, it's like this switch gets flipped inside of me.

I eye the door, nibbling on my fingernail. I honestly have no clue where we stand right now.

We just had sex... AMAZING sex.

I know I'm not experienced, but one doesn't need to test drive other models to know you can't get much better than the Ferrari that just took you from zero to sixty faster than you could blink.

He said he wanted space.

I know it's entirely my fault he asked for that, but my heart still painfully clenches inside of me. What if he only wants sex now? Maybe sex... amazing, earth shattering, soul rendering sex is all that there is between us. I don't know if there is even a possibility for more.

How could there be?

I grab the blanket off of the floor and pull it over me in an attempt to sedate the anxiety that is quickly building. My pulse quickens when the door opens.

Alex pauses when he sees the blanket clenched in my hands. His eyes slowly move up to my face, turning wary as he studies me.

"Are you leaving?" I ask, which unintentionally comes out more like a suggestion than a question.

"You want me to leave?" he chokes out as though he can't believe he even has to ask me that.

My heart is practically on its knees, hands clasped, begging me to say no. Maybe I'm a masochist, because I bite down on my lip and nod. "Maybe you should."

He stands there watching me, his jaw ticking every few seconds until he finally lets out an unhappy breath. "Yeah. Okay."

He grabs his clothes off the floor, his back muscles straining in silent anger as he slips on his boxers and jeans.

He won't even look at me.

When he grabs his shirt off of the carpet, he doesn't bother putting it on. "Thanks for the fuck," he says bitterly, stalking towards the doorway.

The moment he's gone, my shoulders begin to tremble. I lower my face in the blanket clenched between my fingers as the tears pour out of me.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I have no idea why I keep doing this to myself... to him.

A small sob leaves my mouth.

"You're so full of shit."

My head snaps up to the doorway where Alex is standing, arms crossed and looking as though he could strangle me.

I cling to the blanket. "No, I'm not."