Asphyxiation

Palette Knife's Splintered Revelation - 13

Time is moving forward, unstoppably, on a Saturday evening. Night is falling faster and hours turning later and later. Noboru knows here and now, the universe is merciless.

The penance of dating Kana had finally reached its apex of punishment. Noboru knew, logically, he could only delay this for so long; time was both for and against him. After their uninspired fourth date, Noboru was bombarded by urges. When they waited for the train — push her onto the tracks — when they exited the station and waited patiently for the first crosswalk to change lights — Noboru's fingers clench in his pocket, a silent prayer that a motorist makes an unfortunate, unforgettable mistake. The overwhelming desire to get rid of her kept building, swelling up to the point an ache was pounding behind his eyes.

All the while her sweaty fingers were clamped around his, her presence for once a quiet thing walking at his side. It was proper that Noboru walk her home at night. Yet, all of this rising tension was due to the unequivocal fact Noboru knew he would have to reciprocate her affections with a response more intense than handholding. Under the pretense of conservatism, Noboru had circumvented this with a kiss on her cheek at the end of the evening, but now... And with Y/n suddenly suspicious of him... Noboru's stomach rolled unpleasantly.

Get rid of her, the frantic desires overwhelmed him. You have to. Before we reach her front door. Anything — the response almost seemed born of sheer panic. His dominant hand was twitching erratically, his mind aching for some pleasant distraction, but it wouldn't be appropriate to listen to music now or...

Noboru's headache doubled in intensity as soon as he caught sight of the familiar outline of Kana's house, carving its place within the overcast and muggy evening. His dread grew as Kana incidentally slowed their pace, her fingers squeezing his.

She sighed, "I always hate this part."

Noboru barely paid her any mind, his feet automatically adjusting to accommodate her pace and his heart thumping unpleasantly against his chest. His insides felt like ice. This isn't — I can't...

Kana rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. "Noboru?" she tugged on his arm. His eyes flitted over her, unseeing, "Would you like to go another lap around?"

His gut writhed with nausea.

For an answer to her selfish request, Noboru simply tugged her along past the entrance to her house. She laughed merrily at him, as if his actions were that charming, and they began walking around her block, delaying the inevitable.

Noboru was aware her intention was to spend more time with him, which was a romantic notion Noboru did not inherently dislike. In truth, he considered applying it to his next and final relationship. Y/n might find something like this humorous, if not endearing. The (h/c) boy certainly did seem to have an edge to him; a bite to his remarks and personality. One... Noboru was terribly fond of. His unpleasant emotions muted at the thought of being with Y/n like this.

Those nice thoughts were interrupted as Kana leaned into his side, head resting gently on his shoulder. Their pace had slowed to a snail's crawl. Noboru's longing was a painful, visceral thing then. Still so much distance: Y/n remained hard to approach, and as Noboru was reminded of a few days ago, challenging to truly understand. He wished he could piece together why his compliments had landed so terribly at the start, and even by the end, when Y/n was convinced of their veracity, the (h/c) boy did not look pleased by Noboru's regard. For all Y/n seemed to genuinely admire his talents in art, the (h/c) boy did not seem as equally keen to value Noboru's esteem. Which... hurt.

But Noboru was intent on melting down that emotion into molten material, and then reshape it into motivation. If Y/n's attentions and affections must be earned at every turn...