Asphyxiation

Love, The Subject - 12

Everything fell into place as Noboru settled into the nauseating routine of dating Kana. Their phone numbers had been exchanged and three dates had passed, taking up the majority of their electronic messages. Two weeks crawled by, their projects in art coming steadily along (save for Kana, whose injury left her scrambling far behind both Noboru and Y/n). Noboru still often found Kana and Y/n around the school after hours, now both full, official members of the gardening club.

What remained most precious in this beholder's eye, however, was how Y/n opened: a flower in bloom unfurling its petals so Noboru may admire them; adore them. The (h/c) boy was wonderfully responsive and engaged in Noboru's presence, more so as time lended itself to nurture their companionship naturally. For Y/n now didn't mind exchanging certain looks, below Kana's awareness, or comments, or even short conversations whenever they had a small minute to themselves.

And as Noboru came to know Y/n, better than he ever could have before, a hidden part of him was relieved. He had not wanted to acknowledge the needling fear that Y/n might not be what he thought; what he wanted him to be. That Noboru's expectations and ideas of the (h/c) boy would dilute the reality into a far less attractive subject. However, even when Y/n was mostly despondent, writing it off as exhaustion from staying up the night before "studying," Noboru strangely enjoyed his presence as it was. Y/n was wonderfully human, in a way a still image sketch drawn by Noboru's hand was not.

He even liked it when Y/n indulged in less serious conversations and encounters. As in the case of one time when Y/n waved to get his attention before pointing at another boy in their art class who was dangerously close to ruining his project with a haphazardly placed bottle of paint. Neither him nor Y/n said anything, merely quietly observed until a careless elbow had paint splattering all over their peer's half-finished forest landscape.

To which at that point, Y/n mocked a sympathetic wince, sucking air between his teeth and releasing it as an amusing, "Ooh, tough luck," even though it was anything but (it was simply gross negligence).

Even if Noboru would've seen it as beneath him before, he couldn't help but give into the desire to exchange quips with Y/n as the chaos unfolded from there. It was invigorating, in fact, to have someone to share Noboru's derision with.

Additionally, Noboru found Y/n's lacking desire to help or to warn very charming. His sense of humor... fascinating, if nothing else. So much so, that memory often made Noboru smile at its recollection. To some extent, it is because Noboru must acknowledge that Y/n's behavior is hard to predict, and it makes him inherently interesting. So, Noboru kept smiling. Kept enjoying him. Even when his expectations were in conflict, even when Noboru's usual likes and dislikes were tested and abolished. Y/n somehow made it so none of that truly mattered; Noboru could find pleasure in everything regardless.

And it made dealing with Kana equal parts unbearable and the most worthwhile divine punishment Noboru could have ever imagined to receive. However, without Y/n's presence there, Noboru's thoughts often strayed back into darker territories. He was reminded often of the vivid fantasies he held of shoving Kana onto the train tracks as twin high beams cut across the horizon.

Not to say these violent ideations were for the sake of torment or gore, no matter how much Noboru came to hate Kana. However, as time did go on, Noboru began envisioning her absence everywhere. Simply think of art class. When Noboru glanced up and looked at Y/n sitting across from him, only to be ever aware of Kana beside him. When Noboru interacted with them after school, Kana and Y/n always seemed to be within earshot of each other. When Noboru saw Y/n waiting for them in the morning only to watch as Kana dominated the interaction, continuing the tradition of always walking to their first class together: her and Y/n. Now, if he removed Kana from each instance...