A Summer To Remember

Philophobia

“Philophobia; the fear of falling in love”

We heard her clear her throat and we immediately pulled apart and looked at her. ‘Shit.’ I thought, and it was obvious Jentzen thought it too.

“Hey mom…” I said and Jentzen and I both stood up, Ebony hitting his arm with her head, as if she were ratting us out when we had already gotten caught.

My mom stood there with her arms crossed and tapping her foot, just staring at us. I put my hands behind my back and looked at the floor, knowing we were gonna get yelled at. 

“Jentzen, go up to the house. DO NOT tell anyone about this incident, are we clear?” She said while looking at him. 

“Yes ma’am.” He said and walked out of the barn, turning to look at me and mouthing the words ‘I’m sorry’ to me before he left. 

My mom turned on her heel and closed the barn door before pacing back and forth for a few seconds before stopping and looking at me.

“Y/n. What happened the last time I caught you in the barn kissing a boy?” she asked while pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“He hurt me…” I whispered. “He hurt you. In more ways than one. That’s why you rarely let anyone touch you, correct?” she said. 

“Correct.” I answered, still whispering. “So tell me, why on earth are you in here, two years later, when you’ve just barely gotten back to your normal self, are you in here, about to KISS A BOY YOU BARELY FREAKING KNOW?!?!” She started, yelling towards the end of her sentence. 

For the first time in a long time, I felt something in me switch, and I suddenly had a fire in my heart. I looked up at her and made eye contact with my mom while crossing my arms. She saw the look in my eyes and her own widened. 

“Me and everyone else were playing truth or dare in my room. It was Elliana’s turn and the bottle landed on me, I said truth and she asked me if dad died of a brain tumor when I was a kid. Piper tried to defend me and tell her it was messed up, but I answered Elliana. I told her the truth, but I also told her he was an amazing dad, both when he was and wasn’t sick. After that I told everyone I was going to do a night check on the horses and asked if anyone wanted to come with me. Jentzen did. We were half way down to the barn when I thought he wanted to ask me about dad, so I snapped at him and told him to, but all he did was pull me into a hug and ask if I was okay. I hugged him back, and told him I didn’t know if I was then we continued walking to the barn and he sat down while I did the night check and sat down next to him and we started talking. One thing led to another and then you walked in before we could kiss.” I told her with a straight face. 

My mom went quiet and started pacing again while I watched her. Eventually she stopped and looked at me again. “Did you want to kiss him?” She asked me. 

“I don’t know. I think I did, but I also could’ve just been caught up in the moment mom.” I told her. “You were being careful?” she asked. “Yes. I didn’t give out to much information about myself so if it does ever go any further, and he does decide to hurt me, he won’t have anything to use against me or to tell anyone.” I told her. 

She started pacing again, for 10 minutes this time. When she finally stopped she walked up to me and grabbed my shoulders gently. 

“I haven’t seen that look in your eyes in a long time N/N. If you want to try and be friends, or more with him; go ahead. But please, for the love of your father Y/n, please be careful. Don’t get too attached too fast, and if anything bad or concerning happens, promise me you’ll tell me.” She said, 

“Mom. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I promise.” I told her. 

She sighed before speaking again. "lights out at 11." She said and walked out of the barn, leaving me alone. “What the hell just happened?” I asked myself and Ebony threw her head up, hitting my arm in the process. “Ow! Ebony, that was rude!” I say while laughing.