Collide (Dylan O'Brien) | ✓

[9] Confessions of a Broken Heart

It was a few minutes past four when the doorbell rang. I shot up from my spot on the couch and peeked through the curtains to see who was at the door. If it was Jess I'd just ignore her and pretend I wasn't home. I didn't feel like talking to her at all. I was still mad at her and I would be for a long time. But it wasn't her. My breath faltered in my throat when I saw the boy I used to adore standing on the porch. He looked tired. I closed the curtains again and let myself fall down on the couch, bringing out a quiet 'Fuck.' as I did so. Louis looked up at me and he immediately knew what was going on. I could see how his body stiffened.

"Is it him?" He asked. I think he could read the answer of my face because he didn't wait for me to reply. He shot up from the couch and headed to the front door.

"Louis! Please don't!" I yelled but by the time I'd reached him it was already too late. I saw how he opened the door and then threw a punch straight towards Dylan's face. His fist connected with Dylan's right cheek and the poor boy stumbled backwards, taken by surprise with the sudden act of violence. I gasped loudly as Dylan landed on his back and Louis grabbed the collar of his shirt, lifting him up into the air and pinning him up against the wall. "Listen up you little shit." He hissed. I needed to do something because if I didn't  Louis would probably beat him up until all the life in his body had disappeared.

"Louis stop it!" I yelled and grabbed my brothers arm. "Leave him alone." Louis glared at me but when he saw how serious I was about it he sighed.

"You don't deserve my sister." He said, turning back towards Dylan. He was still holding his collar in a firm grip. "And if I ever catch you hurting her again I'll personally make sure to find you and from that point on there's no more stopping me kid. I'll beat the living daylight out of you." He threatened. "Do you understand?" Dylan nodded his head and Louis let go off him. He then turned towards me. "Don't let him get into your head sis." I nodded my head, assuring him that I wouldn't. Louis walked back into the house, leaving me alone with Dylan who let out a sigh of relief.

"What are you doing here Dylan?" I asked, my arms firmly crossed over my chest.

"I needed to talk to you." Talk. I knew what he wanted to talk about. He'd probably seen the articles, heard the rumors and now he was here to set things right. To let me know that I wasn't going to get away with it just like that. So I beat him to it.

"If you're worried about your reputation, don't worry. I'll take the blame. I'll find a way to tell everyone that it was not your fault. I'll tell them that I lied for attention." I huffed. I rather offered it myself than to hear him asking me it.

"I don't want you taking the blame. That's not what I'm here for, that's not what I want."

"Then what do you want Dylan?!" I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air. I didn't know anymore. If he didn't want me to take the blame, if he wasn't here to ask about the rumors, then why was he here? What did he want from me?

"I just want to explain." He almost begged me. I looked up at him, my eyes softening. He looked terrible. His eyes were tired and they had big black circles underneath them. A bruise was forming on his cheek, right were my brother had hit him. His hair was all messy. He looked like he hadn't slept for days. I sighed and shook my head.

"What's there to explain Dylan? You used me for sex, it's as simple as that. You hoped I wouldn't find out about Britt but I did and now you are in trouble."

"I didn't use you Charlotte. I made a mistake but I can't turn it back anymore. I never planned any of this but when I kissed you I lost control. The first kiss was acted but the second one was real and when I felt you kissing back I couldn't resist anymore. I wasn't thinking straight, because that's what boys do. We don't think about the consequences of our actions. My head wasn't with Britt Friday night. All I was thinking about was you. I didn't use you. I couldn't do that to someone I love." My head snapped up and my eyes widened.

"What?" Was all I was able to bring out. My voice was small and laced with confusion. What did he say to me?

"From the moment I met you I was intrigued by you. I knew I'd be falling for you and dear God I fell hard. I knew what being friends with you would do to me. I should've stopped it, whatever we had back then, when you left my apartment for the first time but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to cutting you out of my life. I didn't want to lose you." When he finished his monologue he was almost out of breath. He looked up at me, only to find me already staring at him. I wasn't expecting such a confession. I wasn't prepared for this. I didn't know what to say and I was just standing there, looking at the boy who'd just confessed his love for me. When he saw I wasn't going to answer any time soon he spoke again. "I never wanted to hurt you, or Britt for that matter. You have to believe that it was never my intention."

"Does she know?" I brought out, my voice breaking into a million pieces. He nodded his head. Of course she did. It was all over the internet, everyone probably knew. "What did she say?" He rushed a hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

"She was angry at first. Then she asked me why I'd done it and I told her the truth. I told her I'd fallen in love with someone else. She asked me if I still loved her but I couldn't answer that because I'm not sure." Those words were like a knife straight through my heart. He wasn't sure. He didn't know if he still loved his girlfriend. How can you not know that?

"My feelings for you are strong Dylan but you have to make a choice. It's her or me, you can't have both." I wanted him to make a decision. He either had to tell me he wanted me or he'd have to disappear out of my life and never come back.

"I never meant to hurt anyone." He said sighing. "I don't want to hurt anyone." That's the Dylan I know. Sweet and caring but right now it wasn't the Dylan I needed. I needed him to tell me who it was going to be. Me or her. "But I never would've fallen in love with you if I still felt the same way towards Britt as I used to." He suddenly breathed out. My head snapped up to look at him and he looked back at me. "All I want, like in the world, is to just keep talking to you. I want to take you out for dinner, have ridiculous conversations with you. I want to watch you fall asleep in my arms, I want to kiss you goodnight. I want to eat breakfast with you right before you leave for school but most of all I just want to be able to look at you and not feel bad for what I've done. I think that if we just give it a try we can make this work." I stared at him with my jaw to the ground and my eyes bigger than ever. I couldn't bring out a word so I did the only thing that I could think off. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. I connected my lips with his, holding my breath for a while but when I felt him kissing me back I released that breath and a wonderful feeling engulfed me. The feeling of finally being loved again. 

***

A/N: I didn't want Dylan to be the bad guy. He's nice and sweet but just sometimes doesn't think things through. Yeah.. So this is his confession towards Charlotte :)

Comment/vote, thanks <3