A manual to a broken heart

Chapter 1

Why do I think of you every time I look at the moon? As I walk down Vivian road, staring at the bright white Hunters moon,all I see is you. The shades of honey projected by the sunset through the clouds tasted bitter compared to you. While its golden glow was only outshone by the hazel of your eyes. Everything beautiful about our universe is just another reminder of you. Well to be more specific my universe . Because that's what you were to me, for the short chapter of my life where you were the main character every thought,action and emotion was you,for you or because of you. I have read your chapter in my head over and over,because I can't remember the last time I didn't miss you. I miss your presence.i miss your scent. I miss your voice. The strings of my heart strum the melody of your laughter. The very broken heart that you shattered,but you also fixed it,not by choice neither yours nor mine. Purely by twisted fate,maybe even karma.

I am knackered,i put my keys into the lock and open my door. I walk up four flights of stairs to get to my room,every step is weighted down by the weight of my bags. Filled with clothes and shoes. But there was one thing that excited me the most. The most inexpensive, unremarkable thing i bought today is what excited me the most.A empty book. I place it on my desk before changing into my pyjamas. I live in my pyjamas, they are the comfiest most convenient piece of clothing to exist. Why anyone would choose to wear anything else at home is very illogical to me. The rest of my day is routine, to most, a routine may seem insignificant,but for me this is the first time in my life where everything isn't chaos and turmoil. I walk down the stairs to my living room ,open the draw and bring out a packet of cat food which i place in Jasmine's bowl. Jasmine being my best friend. People have called me sad for saying my cat is my best friend , but they don't understand. If they had a kitten the would know the love a person can have for their pets. Jasmine is only four months old. I call her my suicide prevention cat,I'm not actually suicidal, i am just a little bit dramatic. Well not suicidal anymore. Next on my routine is giving my mom her medicine. On top of the cat food is where i keep the medication. I bring them out and walk to my mums room. Since my mom got cancer six months ago I've had to be the one to take care of her. It's just me and her at home. Now that i am 18 I'm llegally allowed to stay at home as there are no other carers. I give her the medication and walk back up the stairs, my feet aching on the worn out grey carpet we haven't changed in years,and my hand avoiding the railing so that I don't get any splinters. I walk back into my room and sit down. Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest. of my life. I start university,a fresh start with new people. But before i start i need to let go of my past. I can no longer allow it to cause me so much misery and pain. That's why i bought this empty black book, it may be empty now, but i plan to turn it into a manual....a manual of a broken heart.