ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀʜᴏᴏᴅ

• babysitter

June 7th

I shook Amber "Up. Now." I told her. She woke up and yawned. "Let's get you ready for daycare, come on ambs" I picked her up and walked to the bathroom.

I got in the car and sighed. I began to mentally prepare myself for today. "You okay mommy?" Amber asked me. I started up the car "Yes, I'm just tired and I don't want to go to this job" I groaned. "Its okay" Ambs smiled at me "I'll be a good girl for you"

   I dropped her off at daycare and drove back home. I parked and screamed in my car. I looked out the window and saw Miles. I rolled down my window "Sorry. Bad morning. I have to take my daughter to daycare then I have to work as a stripper to buy groceries, to pay rent, and to basically live" I ranted. "I was gonna ask if everything was okay...but you answered that for me" He joked. I laughed "It wasn't that funny that's why I laughed" I teased him. "It was good to see you laugh — see you later Alaska" He waved as he walked away from my car.

   Hours later, I go to pick up Amber. "Mommy!" She ran to me. "Hey ambs, Let's hurry to Granddaddy's house" I picked her up.

  I walked to the car and put her in her car seat. "Wanna listen to music, baby?" I asked as I put on my seat belt. "Yes!" She said excitingly. I started playing Work by Rihanna. I glanced in the mirror when I heard her singing the lyrics. "Sing it, Mommy!" She shouted. I laughed and sang the lyrics.

   We arrived at my dad's house. I started knocking on the door repeatedly. "Dad!" I shouted. After a few moments, He came out. "Hey! Ambs and Alaska are here" He yelled. My sister, Yasmine came out. "Hey Alaska" She smiled at me. "I'm not here to say hey and do all of that awkward shit so take my kid" I sighed. The last time I saw them we were arguing about how unstable I am with Amber. "Jesus way to greet your little sister" My dad said as he grabbed Amber's hand. "Be good mini-me" I kissed Ambs on her cheek and waved goodbye.

   I went into the club and the music was booming. I held my bag with my clothes in it and looked around for the dressing room.

    The dressing room was worse than the outside. I changed into my outfit and waited. "Your new right?" An older woman asked me. "Sadly" I looked at her. "It'll get easier...and it gets the bills paid" She told me. "Thanks" I smiled at her.

    The announcer called my name and I went out. I heard the song Anxiety by Megan the Stallion. It was on point because the anxiety ate me up inside. I started doing anything I thought of. Money immediately started getting thrown at me. I held my tears back and danced. The crowd started getting loud and money flowed in.

   After my dance, I hurried off stage. "Hey, can I exit for a second?" I asked one of the dancers there. "Yea nobody cares" They looked at me funny.

   I walked out and began to sob uncontrollably. "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE" I shouted to myself. I got some stares but I didn't care. I just sobbed. I looked at my phone and saw my dad calling.

DAD: When are you picking her up?
ALASKA: After my shift, which is shit thanks for asking
DAD: When's that
ALASKA: Im gonna try to get off now but if I can't it's gonna be 12 am
DAD: I didn't agree this long
ALASKA: I didn't agree to get pregnant Dad but shit happens okay I just need you to watch her for a few more seconds please Dad
DAD: Fine please hurry

- call ended

I walked to my manager's office. "Zay I want to quit" I told him. "Woah. Goddamn, that outfit looks gooodddd — but I understand" Zay looks me up and down. "Exactly why I want to quit" I put a fake smile on my face. "Fine here's the money you earned" He said as he gave me stacks. "Thanks" I put it in my purse. I quickly put a hoodie on "Goodbye".

   I got into my car and rushed to my dad's house. "I'm here" I started beating on the door. Yasmine came out "Hey sis" she smiled. "Where's my kid?" I asked. "With dad come in" She responded, opening the door. I hesitated but went inside. "Just like how I remember" I looked around. "You left like months ago we can't change that much" Yasmine joked. "Yea and when I left I had to live with Amber's dad and now I am jobless in an empty apartment" I responded.

Minutes later, Amber came running to me. "Mommy I missed you!" She said as she gave me a big hug. "Hey Amber" I fake smiled. "Everything okay?" My dad asked. "No ask your favorite daughter I told her all about it" I told him. I grabbed Amber's hand "I would say nice seeing you but it really wasn't" I sighed. "Don't be like that Alaska" My dad looked at me. "Bye. Say bye Ambs" I waved and started walking out. Amber waved bye and we left.

As I walked up the stairs unlocked my door. "Hungry?" I asked her. "No just sleepy" she yawned. "We are gonna have furniture soon" I smiled. "Really? We got the money?" Ambs said excitedly. "Yep but now I'm on another job hunt. Maybe Uber is for me" I joked. She laughed "Whats uber?" she questioned. "Where I drive people around and they pay me" I responded. She nodded in understanding "Ohh" She said. "Fruit snack?" I offered. "Yum! Thank you Mommy" Amber smiled gratefully and took the fruit snack.

After I got her out of the bath I laid her down. "Mommy, can I watch your phone?" She asked. Sometimes when she asked me this, I thought to myself did I create an Ipad kid? "Sure" I sighed and put on Gracie's corner. I gave her my phone "Hurry and sleep" I kissed her forehead.