102 dates

chapter one

There's the saying "You only live once, so make the best of it" but how are we supposed to do that when life is constantly throwing shit in our fucking faces.

No one ever is living there life to the fullest, it's impossible. Social media influencers and content creators are nothing but full of bullshit, and we all fall for it, every single day, weather we notice it or not.

No one has a "perfect" life and no one ever will. So let me take you on a little journey through mine.

My name is Maeve Brooks and my life has always been a headache, well, for me at least.

I've always craved love, to be loved and wanted my life to be somewhat enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my life but obviously it could be better, all of ours could be.

I'm in no place to be complaining though, I'm in my second year of university to becoming a pediatric nurse, have a stable job and have my own apartment. Nothing but dumb drama and annoying responsibilities is what's making it a tad non-enjoyable.

Oh, and I cant forget the 101 dates I've been on since the beginning of the year.. its July.

And yes, they were all with different men.

March

"I'm an Odor sniffer". The dirty blond man says, sitting in a rustic wooden chair across from me. He has a lean build, faint muscles that I can barely see under his white t-shirt, and a mustache.

I mumble, "I'm sorry, an odor sniffer?" I freeze where I am, holding my glass of wine right above my lips. He laughs and continues talking, "I know, it sounds weird but I basically just sniff new types of perfume, deodorants, and other products and tell companies if it smells good and how long it lasts".

I stare at this man in front of me in pure oddity. An odor sniffer? when the fuck has that ever been a thing. "That's so cool" I say nodding while I place my wine glass back down on the table.

"So, tell me, what's your favorite position?" He asks in a whisper, now leaning closer into the table staring right into my eyes. He was so close I could smell that awful scent of coffee breath. Did this bitch just ask me what my favorite position is.

"Excuse me?" I raise my eyebrow.

"You know, while engaging in intercourse". He cocks one of his eyebrows up back at me while a large smirk is plastered on his face. I raise my hand grabbing the waiters attention and motion for the bill.

"Well, it was great meeting you". I stand from my seat and grab my sweater that's been hanging off the chair. "Have fun with the bill". I smile and rush out of the crowded restaurant. I look back at him before opening the door and see him rubbing his dick under the table. How do you get hard from just the mention of sex positions.

Motherfucking men.

A soon as I reach outside, a huge laugh escapes from my mouth. "weirdest fucking date". I say to myself with a hint of disgust now walking to my car. That man just ruined my night. fuck you.

I reach into my purse searching for my phone, once I got a hold of it I call the one person that even knew I was here.

"So? how'd the date go?"

"You won't believe it"

"What? please don't tell me he picked his nose and ate it like the last guy"

"Ugh Bella, don't remind me of that".

Bella is my best friend, has been for 5 years, since grade 9. We've been through hell and back together, and I'm not exaggerating on the hell part. That story's for another day.

"What the hell did this guy do then?"

"He asked me what my favorite position was. bro had no shame"

~ silence ~

"YOU'RE JOKING". Bella laughs through the phone, almost sounding like she can't breathe.

"It's not funny this is the last time I'm going on a date, clearly it's not working out for me"

"Maeve no, you just haven't found a good guy yet"

"And I don't think I ever will"

"Don't say that, I know you will"

I reach my car and unlock it before getting in.

"I just got to my car I'll talk to you later ok?"

"Ok, text me when you're home safe"

"Got it Bells"

I hang up and sit in my car in silence.

I look out my window and notice an older couple, maybe around in their 50s, walk past my car holding hands smiling at one another.

Do you ever just see all these couples around you, weather its people you know or randoms on the street and feel like you'll never have that because of how much you want it.

Maybe if I don't think about it or think I don't want it, that's when something will happen and suddenly I'll have that romantic relationship I've always craved and longed for.

And then you think that's not how it works and you'll be alone forever.

Why is love so difficult. How is it supposed to just appear and happen without trying for it and finding it. Why are we told our soulmate could be out there anywhere in the world, and that we'll find them one day, when really it's one in a billion you'll actually meet them.

Love isn't given to you, you find it with someone. That's why I've gone on all of these dates, because I always have this little hope curled up inside me thinking, maybe this will be the one where I meet the love of my life.

But who am I joking, why do I expect to find love while going on random dates with these random ass men if I know it's one in a billion. Then I remember it's because of that little hope.

Maybe, just maybe one of them will be the one.