《Authors note》: (THIS WAS JUST A GOOFY IDEA ME AND MY ONLINE SISTER MADE!! ☠️)
Dyso, Bloom, and Divided all felt bored and hungry. They didn't have anything else to eat since dysos bitch ass spent all the money on game passes. Which of course he got a beating by Bloom.
(Doing a diff writing style cause idk)
Dyso: "Come on guys, it wasn't ENTIRELY my fault!"
Bloom side eyes him.
Bloom: "Yes it fucking was. Now thanks to you we can't go to Walmart and buy food, CAUSE YOU'RE FATASS-"
Divided comes out of the kitchen, holding a can of some sort. Bloom and dyso turn their attention towards him.
Bloom: "Divided. What did you find?"
Divided shrugs.
Divided: "Just some chicken noodle soup-"
Bloom tackles Divided, and snatches the chicken noodle soup.
Divided: "AH! THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?"
Bloom: "IF WE HAVE TO STARVE, I AINT THE ONE STARVING. ima cook this shit."
Divided and Dyso look at Bloom, rolling they're eyes.
Dyso: "We don't have bowls cause I also sold them to the furniture store-"
Divided: "Dyso why the fuck would you sell bowls to a furniture store?!"
Bloom: "Dyso that would've been very helpful if you didn't use that money to fucking- BUY GAMEPASSES!"
Dyso: "WHY YOU GUYS BULLYING ME?-"
Divided and bloom: "SHUT THE FUCK UP."
Bloom puts the chicken noodle soup in the microwave, watching as the chicken noodle soup starts to cook.
Bloom: "Finally, after 4 days of no food, we have this!"
Divided: "You do know that's like, not family size right?-"
Bloom: "I KNOW WHAT IM DOING, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP."
Divided: "Okay jeez 💀."
Dyso: "Sometimes I feel like I'm not appreciated in this friend group."
Divided: "Nah don't worry bro, at least you have people that love you-"
Zesty: "I EXIST-"
(GTFO OUT OF THE STORY, ME!!)
Zesty: "No-"
(YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE AUTHOR, SKIDADDLE!)
Zesty: "THEN WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
(I'M YOU!)
Zesty: "..."
(...)
(Just get out.)
Zesty: "Okay 😶."
(Anyways ahem-)
The boys chill on the couch, watching goofy tiktok compilations cause they have nothing better to do in their lives.
Bloom: "Wait, how long did I even set the timer on for the microwave?"
Divided and dyso shrug, getting up and ready to check the noodles.
Divided: "Let's see.. oh shit dawg you put it on for 56 minutes 💀."
Dyso: "So does that mean it's gonna overheat and explode 😨??"
Bloom: "Don't be dumbasses guys, I'm pretty sure- WAIT FOR FUCKING 56 MINUTES???!"
Dyso: "Who's the dumbass now ☠️?"
Bloom: "STFU!!"
Divided: "Well shit."
Bloom goes to check on the chicken noodle soup, to sigh in relief that it's cooking normally.
Bloom: "Nah we good fellas 😎."
They turn around going to the couch again, but once they do so they hear a fatass fucking bang from the kitchen. They slowly turn towards where the sound came from.
Bloom: "ITS ON FIRE-"
Divided: "BLOOM THIS IS YOU'RE FAULT!"
Bloom: "SHUT YO BITCH ASS UP-"
Dyso slides in with water, and pours it on the fire.
Divided: "DYSO WE NEED A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! NOT WATER!!"
Dyso: "Oh yeah 😃."
Bloom and Divided face palm.
Bloom: "THE FIRE IS EXTENDING."
Divided: "Nice going guys."
Dyso: "Father in heaven, I stand before You today in Your omnipotent presence to ask that You grant me strength. I want You to give me the strength to power through all of the tasks today - whether little or big. It is by Your will that I live oh Lord. And I know it is also by Your will I will not go weak today."
Bloom and Divided: "...."
Bloom: "NOWS NOT THE TIME TO ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS DYSO."
Dyso: "SHUT UP, YOU BURNED OUR KITCHEN!!"
Divided: "GUYS WE SHOULD PROBABLY SKIDADDLE OUTSIDE BEFORE WE-"
Divided stops mid sentence as he can't see Bloom or dyso near him anymore, confused he looks forward to see dyso and Bloom already out the door. Shocked, the house explodes.
《15 mins later-》
Bloom: "How long are we gonna wait here for the police and fire fighters to pull up?"
Dyso: "I dunno, but where the hell is divided-"
Dyso and Bloom both turn they're heads to see Divided, coming out with black smoke all over his body. He coughs out some dust.
Divided: "I hate you guys."
(Ngl I kinda want like a cartoon based off these mfs, an adult swim too. Like 😭❤️)
YOU ARE READING
"The Main 3." (DBD FANFIC)
Fanfic《Oneshot book.》 Basically used for any requests you have of these three. You can add Y/n (You're name) (Aka self insert), I take requests. Just message me! Anything you request I will write. But just a reminder. What i will and won't write ✍️🏾: Ns...
