The Protection Program

Chapter Ten

I hadn't taken the shot of medicine yet because I wasn't as tired as I led on to be, and truthfully, I just wanted to sit in my room unbothered.

I looked at the clock and realized it had been four hours since the nap I had taken. It was only 8 o'clock now, and I usually stayed up until midnight with the guys debriefing and talking with them.

I coughed some as I looked at the purple liquid sitting on my end table and knew I should down it, but I wasn't ready for the delirious dreams they gave me.

I rolled my eyes and pulled the cough drop from my pocket that Dean had given me. It didn't take long for the cherry and menthol flavor coating to help numb the soreness of my throat.

I moved over to the nook off to the side of the room, the one place of sanctuary where someone couldn't just come in and watch me. I had a sliver of privacy in the window seat tucked out of view from the door, and I had been taking advantage of it a lot lately.

I realized I had left my yellow blanket downstairs, but I would rather go without it than show my face for the rest of the night.

Instead, I used the giant decorative pillows as coverage. I pulled one onto my lap and propped myself in the corner of the indented space, looking up at the night sky in the wide window.

The moon was overlooking the lake, shining giant reflections of its bright light over the surface. The sky was clear tonight, so the stars were beaming from the lack of light pollution.

That was one of the few bonuses of being out here. Everything in nature that was generally dulled by the city's life came out on full display here.

I practiced what I had learned from one of the mindfulness books left behind by a former tenant. After learning that the last person who had stayed here was here for six months, I was no longer taken aback by the sheer amount of books in that genre I had found.

One of the few techniques I got anything from, encouraged me to focus on the five senses to ground myself when I felt stressed or in need of comfort.

Boy, had I needed help with both of those things now more than ever.

I closed my eyes and started focusing on my breathing first. After a wave of peace finally centered me, I began looking out on the water, finding five things I saw. Then, five things I could smell, and I may have cheated some and opened the window just a sliver to welcome more fresh air in.

Next were five things I could taste, but I almost always skipped that part because all I could taste was the artificial cherry flavoring that was becoming passively worse as I sucked on the hard candy.

Just as I was about to skip to touch, I heard a timid knock on my door.

"Y/N?" I heard Dean's voice say quietly, clearing his throat before repeating himself.

I could tell he hadn't opened the door and was kind enough to give me the space to invite him in instead of just barging in himself. I was learning to put up with the invasion of privacy, so it was a nice change from the usual interruptions.

I quietly shut the window and locked it as he knocked gently again.

I was much more grounded than earlier, so I spoke up, signaling where I was.

"Over here," I said in my raspy voice, but luckily, the cough drop did help ease the pain in my throat.

I heard his steps on the hardwood, fell back into my comfort zone, and leaned my head back on the wall when he peeked his head around the corner. His eyes relaxed once he set them on me.

"I've never actually seen your room other than from the doorway," he commented before leaning on the wall with his shoulder and his hands in his pockets. He looked at the small built-in reading space. "Nice little hiding spot you have over here," he smiled softly as if trying to get a feel for my mood.