Payphone

[20.06.2010, 15:54 / one unheard message]

„Hey Jen, I know you are propably busy with all the planning for your Degree and all... I just wanted to check in on you how you are doing. I hope you are not too nervous about all this change. Well, I can tell you that I am hella nervous. I am at the airport right now. I'm paralized of emotions and shaking like that time when I asked you out the first time (smiles). Got my one way ticket to Italy as you know... (silence)...This is selfish to say but I wish you would have chosen me instead of the university. So we could be together now, making memories as we planned to...
That was only 6 months ago, crazy right? When we lay on the ground in your room and chatting about the craziest things to do. How much could change in so little time. I mean...where have the times gone...
But don't worry, I will keep you updated until we meet again and then we do this together again.
My plane is boarding now so I have to go and turn my phone off. I look forward to hearing from you, bye."

[21.06.2010, 12:13 / one unheard message]

" Good morning Jen. I just woke up. Sorry for not calling you yesterday after I landed. There was such a chaos at the airport. My luggage came last and I was really worried it might have gotten lost somewhere (giggles). Luckily i've got it right here. I don't know what I would have done without our adventure book.
So I found this cute little - sort of a B&B - where I will stay for the next days. I'm sharing my room with a guy from NewYork and he's very friendly. Already in this city for two days so he takes me for a little sight seeing around. Very exciting, I'm telling you.
But anyways, how are you doing? Call me back okay? Miss you, Bye"

[29.06.2010, 22:12 / one unheard message]

" Jen? Oh, sorry Mailbox again, I thought you had picked up. Are you okay? I'm getting a little worried about you. But you have propably just better things to do. Yesterday started your frst day for the Medical Degree, right? Exciting, I hope you had a great day and friendly people around.
That guy I told you about two days ago, his name is Nick...He said I could visit him in NewYork. I could crash at his for maybe a week. We did some daytrips through Rome together but it is very crowded. Hard to get anywhere without bumping into people. I really don't like it that much. The buildings are pretty tho. Very breathtaking. Imagine how many years that must have taken them to build...Nowadays people don't build pretty anymore. Its all about creating room in the fastest time possible.
Anyway, I had my first Italian Pizza and it was delicious. And I'm not talking 'Friday-Oven-Pizza-Night-delicious'. This was amazing. But I would never trade our evenings for the most expensive pizza in the world.... I know I've said it before but...I miss you."

[30.07.2010, 10:24 ; 22:48 / two unheard messages]

"Hi, I don't have much time, I am just calling to tell you... I'm flying to NewYork. Ohmygosh this is so nervwreccking. I am boarding soon so I don't have much time, I will call you later...bye."
"Jen, I just arrived at this dudes home and it is so cool. A real NewYorker. Brickwalls and this high ceilings...! Just like in those sitcomes. Remember how we talked about just sitting at a stairway and watching the people in their busy lifes, while we could just enjoy our Company.... (silence) It's now even harder to picture, that you're not here next to me. I do that right now, sitting on a stairway and watching the refletions of all the lights in the puddles on the streats. It's a firework on the ground. But it only remembers me of all our bridges that burned down when you got the acceptance letter. Everything we have had build up has come to fall.
To be honest, it is overwhelming. I have never felt home in our small town. There was never anything about to happen. I thought this crazy, busy life would pull me under it's spell and into the flow of life...but now I'm not so sure about anything I thought to know. Were we too naiv to believe in a happy ending? Because I think if happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this times we saw each other after the weekends you went camping with your dad and had no time for us... And in our time that you wasted with studying, while I tried to be as close to you as possible. These days apart felt impossible to get by without seeing you.
I have always been lookig for a place to feel like home, but now that you are not around I kinda realizied....Maybe home isn't a place but a person...
And now I havn't even heard your voice in almost a month which makes me sort of homesick... I hope you miss me too ..."

[02.10.2010, 18:01 / one unheard message]

"....(silence)....Hello Jennifer. It's me. I'm sorry in case you tried to call me....My phone got stolen a few days ago....I – I don't want to bother you because you have propably a lot going on on your own...but- Nick, the dude I lived with for a few weeks kinda threw me out after he got back with his old girlfriend. One more fucking love song, I'll be sick, I swear. Maybe it's a good thing I'm out of there, but he charged me rent that wasn't communicated before (coins click).....ahm – anyway I'm kind of stuck in NewYork right now and it's a loud city, people yell and cars honk at you for simply existing and taking up a little too much space...It's raining a lot and I got to find a job now somehow.
I actually can't talk a lot because I'm at a payphone trying to call...(silence)... home....you know? All of my change I sort of spent on you. I was just hoping to talk to you....(sighs)....Baby... it's all wrong. I mean, where are the plans we made for two? They are no fun alone.

How can you move on without once calling back or picking up, while I'm still stuck in that time, when we called it love?...

I gave you my trust. I gave you my heart. I gave you my love... to borrow and you...just give it away like that? Is this what that's all about? Have you found someone else? (coins click) I don't expect you to really care anymore but don't expect me to be fine in return...Maybe it is time to let you go. Call me...or don't. Whatever....."

[17.12.2011, 15:34 / one unheard message]

"Hello Jennifer, Sebastian here...It's been a while but I am back in our hometown for a few weeks. Do you want to meet up? I'd be interested in catching up with you. How your Degree is going and so on...
I know it's hard to remember, the people we used to be. A lot changed since then. I changed for sure. I can imagine that you say it's too late to make it again, but is it to late to try...? Propably...you turned your back on tomorrow, it feels like it's because you forgot yesterday. It at least sometimes feels like yesterday when we were together and I've wasted my nights on the adventure book when you just turned of the lights, telling me the chances for a different life I blew up or whatever you called it. I want you to know that these plans for our future were my fairy tails. They gave me Engery and hope. Maybe all those fairy tails are full of shit... You know, maybe it is better if I switched the number to my phone so you never could call it... Have a good life, Jen"

[20.06.2015, 03:21 / number not available]

"Jennifer?. You know what? I- I don't need you anymore...You- I heard you quit your degree, but you know what. I made it from the bottom now when you see me im strutting. And- AND you are propably wondering why wasn't it you who came up from nothing. HA! Now I'll be out spending all this money while you're sitting around at your stupid job at your dad's Medical office...I hope for those patients you return THEIR calls. Pff...Oh and all of my cars start with a push of a button, Phantom pulled valet open doors. I knew you always saw yourself at the top or what you could have saw, but sad to say its over for you. In the end... I somehow got what you were looking for. Funny how the tables can turn right? Now it's me who they want so you can go and take that little piece of shit with you.
We had a good game, but you missed your shot, Jennifer..." (bottle breaking on the ground)