Phighting shitposts and other stuff

Sipping Grimace (Skateboard)

Imported from AO3!! This was made back when Grimace was actually popular and silly so this is like. A fucking month late

Anyway sorry for no food here it is now 

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 Skateboard confidently held up the drink, puffing up his chest while sitting down. They cracked a smirk with one eye open, the other closed.

 "How much you bettin' I can chug this thing in one go?"

 "Hm." You go pensive, your head resting on your arm that's flat on the table. You just finished your food, and this bozo decided it'd be a pleasant surprise that he ordered the fabled Grimace shake everyone was talking about. I mean, what's the harm in it? Best part about it is that they got it in large. "Nothing, you can't finish that." You bluntly reply. "We should get going—"

 "Awh, baby, come on! I can totally chug it in like. 5 minutes tops." They declared, holding up the drink. "Start a timelapse or something."

 You sighed. Once they were set on something, it was hard to set them off of it. You were too tired (and full), to argue. "Okay, I'll start one." You whip out your phone and google a timelapse clock. As soon as you press start, Skateboard wastes no time in chugging the whole thing from the straw at first. After a minute of sipping, he got frustrated, soon tossing off the top on the table and beginning to chug the whole thing from the cup. How he didn't make a mess on the floor or table was a miracle once he finished. They did make a mess of his upper shirt. You paused the timer as he adjusted it slightly with a chuckle.

 "Woops."

 You sighed, handing him napkins as he struggled to even clean the stains off. You could only watch with a chuckle. The determination they had was dumb, but cute. They huffed. You glanced at the timelapse, which made him perk up his head.

 "How'd I do?"

 You smiled slightly at the time. "Two minutes, 5 seconds."

 "Damn! I should've known that straw would've messed me up!"

 "It's fine. This isn't that bad for someone who ate a full meal."

 "Well, I'll do it better some other time." Skateboard sighs with a shrug. "Wanna get outta here now?"

 "Yeah." You nod, standing up. Skateboard skidded over to you with a smile. "Thanks for the help with the timer, (Y/N)." He hummed, soon placing a sweet kiss on your cheek as a thank-you. You smiled softly.

 "No problem, sweetheart." Skateboard and you already paid for all the stuff you ordered (he paid for the shake), so the both of you could easily walk out easy peasy. As you began to turn the corner, Skateboard sets down his board and promptly hops on it. They begin to skate at your pace while you walk. Not without having some type of affection, gripping your hand while they move, glancing at you every now snd then to make sure this is a safe speed to be going at.

 "Lazy", you grumbled. Skateboard only enjoyed the luxury of the skateboard ride. After a little while of walking, Skateboard suddenly pauses in his momentum, stopping the board completely. You turn around with a confused face.

 "Skate, you okay?" You asked with an eyebrow raise.

 He gulped, pulling his hand away and clutching his stomach with a somewhat anxious expression. "Alll good! Don't worry!" You stared with a more concerned face.

 "Are you sure? You're acting like you're gonna throw up all of your guts."

 "Weell—" He swallowed once more, his face contorting to an uncomfortable glance at you. "That sounds accurate.."

 "Dear Illumina, Skate.." you sighed. You began to peer around, landing your sights on a nearby trashcan. You hurriedly grab his hand and take him off his board. You lightly shove him to the trashcan, where he immediately throws up purple bile.. not something you wanted to see today. You gently rubbed his back as he continued to hurl. It went on until he only coughed, slowly slipping back up to stand.

 "All done ?" You asked. He only nodded. You were lucky enough to have brought a decently filled water bottle, soon handing it to him fir a small drink. He drank it from the rim, leaving you with no water. You didn't mind it, though. Whatever he needed was more important due to his rough looking appearance. He stared down at the bottle.

 "Sshit, sorry—..." he sighed. "This was a bad idea, huh?"

 "Well, yeah." You said, before wrapping your arms around him. "Maybe don't do that again, sweetie?"

 "Yeah. Lesson learnt." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

 "Are you sure you're okay?" You asked with a more calmer expression.

 "Hell yeah! Feeling better already." He gave you a thumbs up. "Besides all the vomit in my throat, hah."

"Well, how about we just stay at my place for a little bit?"

 "Your place?" Skateboard blinked. "You sure?? After the vomiting mess I was just now?"

 "Why do you think I'm asking you to crash, dummy." You playfully punched his arm. "Now let's get going. I don't think we should be staying out any more than we are right now."

 "Eh, alright!" He shrugged, gently gripping your hand once more and hopping back up on his board. The two of you began to make your way back to your apartment, where you managed to finally flop onto your couch and relax.