𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 - 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘀

𝐞 𝐢 𝐠 𝐡 𝐭

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

you're on your own, kid ᵗᵃʸˡᵒʳ ˢʷⁱᶠᵗ

i gave my blood sweat and tears for this. i hosted party's and starved my body.

└───❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚┘

ʳᵉᵃˡ ˡⁱᶠᵉ ⁱ

WARNING: indepth discussions of anorexia and suicide. feel free to skip this chapter 🤍

"HELLO AND WELCOME back to the 'useless hotline' podcast, im max balegde and this is george clarke!" max announces when the cameras start rolling.

"today we have a very special guest..." george continued, whacking the table with his hands.

"the very beautiful wonderful amazing ivy fewtrell!" max finished, doing jazz hands in ivys direction, causing her to break out into a fit of giggles at the action.

"hey guys!" she moved her microphone closer to her mouth as she waved at the camera. "thank you so much for having me on here."

"our pleasure darlin' " max says with a wink, ivy rolling her eyes jokingly in response.

"so, we asked you guys last week to send in some questions for ivy-" george said as he dug around in a jar filled of small pieces of paper. "and the first one our poor guest is going to have to answer is..." he continued as he attempted to open the folded paper.

"for fucks sake george, give it here." ivy grumbles, snatching it out of his hand and unfolding it with ease. she let out a loud laugh as she read the question, "would you rather have fingers for toes or toes for fingers?"

the question also caused the two 'men' to laugh as ivy contemplated her answer. "i think fingers for toes."

"oh my god thats a horribly disturbing thought." george gagged.

"really?!" max asked, "how would you put shoes on?"

ivy shrugged. "i guess i'd just get really long shoes. what, would you prefer toes as fingers?"

"well i guess so, i mean they would be really stubby but fingers as toes is just two freaky."

ivy thought for a moment before countering maxs comment. "yeah but you wouldn't be able to pick anything up. with fingers for toes, you could just use your feet to do everything."

georges nose scrunched in disgust. "who the fuck actually wants to use there feet to pick stuff up."

"actually-" max started, causing george and ivy to share a look knowing they were in for a really long rant. "i saw this woman on tiktok who had no hands so she used her feet to make food."

they answered a few more stupid questions, before max pulled one out and clapped in delight. "what was it-"

he paused as george crept the microphone closer to his mouth, until it was practically in his mouth when he spoke. "carry on max!" george smirked at him.

"what was it like-"

"did you know if you type two sets of quotation marks it makes a 69?" max was cut off again by ivy sharing a very vital piece of information.