Like the Smell of the Rain

Kabanata 4

Why does this always happen to me? W-Why do I have to hit-rock-bottom to get what I want? Why did fate make me climb just to pull me back? Why did I lose my things and ended up in this village? Why did the winds brought me here just to make me run again?

"L-Lily.."

Sinubukan kong dugtungan iyon ngunit walang naging kasunod. Tila naumid ang dila ko, nanunuyo ang lalamunan na parang masusuka dahil sa lakas nang kabog ng dibdib.

Say something, Lara! Convince her! Compromise! Tell her to keep your secret!

I blinked when she took a step up to climb to my room.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit ka nandito pero sana 'wag kang magtagal." iyon lang at tumalikod siya.

Hindi na ako nag-isip at kaagad siyang sinundan papasok.

"L-Look...let me explain---"

"Hindi ko kailangan no'n, Miss."

"Look I don't intend to stay long----"

"Good." humarap siya sa akin bitbit ang isang white hoodie na mula ata doon sa cabinet. "Hindi kami pwedeng madamay sa spotlight mo, Miss."

Tumango ako. Wala siyang ibang sinagot kundi ang talikuran ako ngunit mabilis ko siyang hinabol sa hagdan. I grabbed her arm to stop her.

"D-Don't tell them."

Walang emosyon itong nakatingin sa kanya.

I closed my eyes. "P-Please."

I'm desperate. For a short time I have watch those people's eyes glimmer with kindness as they met mine.....and I don't want it exchanged with disgust.

Hinila nito ang braso mula sa hawak ko at walang pasabing umalis.

Nanlumo ako at napaupo sa hagdan. I looked up to prevent myself from crying.

How fucked up can you get, Ayessha?

I spent the rest of that day in my bed. Wala akong nagawang productive sa araw na 'yon like how I promised myself that night. I sat there, tanaw ang pagbabago ng kulay sa ulap. I didn't eat, this has been me since my scandal went out. I just forgot I'm hungry whenever I'm lost in my thoughts.

Napaigtad ako ng marinig ang mahihinang katok sa pinto. Pinagsiklop ko ang nanginginig na kamay. Truth is....I was anxious the whole damn time. The thought of them climbing here with disgust on their face as they kick me out makes me tremble in fear.

Hindi ako umalis doon at inantay nalang na may bubukas sa pinto. I didn't lock it....I don't think I have the right to do so.

Ilang segundo akong nag-antay ngunit walang bumukas.

"A-Ateeee..."

A soft and girly voice called.

Nagugulat akong bumaling doon.

"I-Inaway ka ba Lily?" nanginginig ang boses nito at parang maiiyak.

I slowly walked to the window beside the door. Mahina kong hinawi ang kurtina para silipin ang tao doon.

L-Lea?

I didn't see her face but I can see her pig tailed hair from the window.

Kahit halo-halo ang pakiramdam ay unti-unti kong binuksan ang pintuan at sumilip ang batang babae na nakalabi at namumula ang ilong.

Tatlo ang yakap nitong stuff toys na mabilis niya inangat sa akin.

"S-sayo nalang sila Chu-chu, Chichay, at Max, Ate Ayenne!" alok nito. Nanunubig ang mga mata nito sa luha.