𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐜𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏: 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭

Carmen Yates
THREE WEEKS AGO...

Carmen sat with his back hunched and his elbows touching his knees. The palms of his hands grew sweaty as they held the thin chain tightly inside his fist.

He regretted everything. He knew that, the judge knew that, his lawyer knew it and he had hoped that God had known it too.

But here came the time where he would be deemed whatever consequence the jury saw fit. The lawyer Carmen was given had explained that it could go one of two ways, psych-ward for life or being stuck in a youth program for 'troubled young men.'

Carmen didn't like the sound of any of them, but anything would be better than being stuck in a psych-ward for his entire life.

The doors opened and the judge sat. Carmen knew a decision was made. He opened his palms and revealed the little copper cross that was attached to the chain he held in his hands. He looked down, taking a deep breath and holding it in until his chest ached.

The first few months of being held captive in a prison cell was nothing he wasn't used to, but being held in a psych-ward was nothing but torture.

He talked to himself, all those sleepless nights in the dark cell. But in the place he was at, it was easy to hear random screams from other tenants in the ward. He slept on a little bed, with a mattress that felt like it was made out of bricks. His room was grey. Everything was painted grey, but it turned black when the lights went out. His head would rest on a pillow that had a dewy smell. Yet he would lie there, staring up as if he wished the ceiling was broken open and he was looking up into the night sky.

He kept remembering his time at the prison. There was a man that went by the name Bones who had his cell right across from him. He was old and had caught Carmen's attention one day as he was humming and reading from a book with a faux-leather back. The five-lettered word that was engrained in black on the front of the book made Carmen become a little curious.

Yet Bones had never ignored Carmen's questions, but his answers had felt like sharp stabs into Carmen's shattered heart. It led Carmen to rethink everything he was ever taught, everything he had ever believed.

Bones had told him that he was capable of becoming the man God had created him to be. Yet sitting, found guilty by the court, had made it feel impossible that anyone could see him as a good person. A person worthy of forgiveness and love, just as he was told.

The judge slammed his gavel hard, making Carmen's head pound. He kept staring at the copper cross the old man had given him.

Lord, please have mercy on me, it was was one of the small prayers he had begun to repeat in his mind.

"In the court case that concerns Carmen Yates, nineteen years of age, the jury has decided that he should be under the sanctity of the Youth Advocate Program of New York State and a group home for young men," Carmen straightened his back and was able to breath again, "court is adjourned," the sound of the final gavel echoed across the room.

Carmen was free- yet under restriction.
But nonetheless, he was free.

PRESENT TIME

Staying in a group home was as depressing as it had sounded. His new roommates had pretty much disregarded him the moment they were introduced. Nobody wanted anything to do with the kid that was just "recovering" from the psychiatric ward. He was back where he started, although this time the words that spelled out the logo in front of the building didn't say 'orphanage.' No, it was much, much worse this time.

He found himself staring up at the dark ceilings when night fell. Sleep wasn't easy to come to Carmen, just racing thoughts of what to do next and where he would go. Nightmares felt like creepy little spiders that quickly crawled into his brain and couldn't seem to leave.