turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 00:04
TG: yo john happy birthday
TG: i know youre in your dorky pjs not even knowing youre a year older
TG: youre gonna wake up completely bamboozled with a full beard and a wife and two kids
TG: youll say like "golly gee whizz what on earth happened to me why am i a dilf twunk with a loving foxy wife" and then youll run around your bedroom gawking at your new adult clothes and learning to shave for the first time
TG: campy music starts playing as you trip over yourself putting on your pants, giving the audience ample time to ogle those boxer briefs
TG: then the freaky friday-style title card jumps out at us
TG: and you know what it says
TG: "happy birthday john"
EB: :0
EB: dave I am turning 18! I should not be a father at all!
TG: what
TG: dude why are you up
TG: go the hell to sleep
EB: I cant Im too excited hehe! My dad said he's going to give me a bunch of money so i can go out and have my own birthday since Im a man and all
EB: why are YOU up
TG: i was just minding my own business in dreamtown imagining a bunch of girls ganging up on me
TG: they were like playboy models john. All slinky and sly and sexy dressed up in rabbit lingerie
TG: and just as it was about to get serious, one of them leans in and says "its my birthday!" In your voice
TG: so i woke up screaming and sweating but decided to be a champ and wave goodbye to you as you enter adulthood and leave us minors behind
EB: dave
EB: did you stay up just to wish me a happy birthday?
TG: no thats ridiculous
TG: i dont lose sleep over you john quit being such a narcissist
EB: well the other option is that I was in your wet dream ;)
EB: your FAKE wet dream because youre also gay >:)
TG: bro oh my god shut up
TG: this is worse than if you were homophobic why did i ever tell you i was gay
TG: fine maybe i did take the time out of my night with my adoring pinup gang just to wish my pal a good bday
TG: is that so wrong
TG: and the girls in my wet dreams and i share a deep profound bond that goes beyond wetness
TG: cherissa? her father overdosed
TG: lauren? single mom with two kids
TG: joan? Homeless
TG: it gets rough but we stick together. At the end of the day it turns out alright
EB: noooooo :(
EB: why do all these innocent women have such sad backstories!
EB: dave just admit you have sexy wet dreams about men! I already know anyways! Leave those poor imagination women alone!
TG: just because you jerk it to Nic doesnt mean i jerk it to you
TG: john go get your beauty sleep its so late
YOU ARE READING
An 18-Year-Old Boy and His Friends Play a Game (JohnDave Fanfiction)
FanfictionJohn Egbert logs onto Pesterchum. It just so happens that today, the thirteenth of April, is this young man's birthday. Although it was 8 years ago he met his best friend, he has not yet confessed his feelings to him! How will the no-Sburb story of...
