This Love~... Jack Hughes

again

"matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright but i know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside"
—— harry styles

it's now been a week since i have woken up and i finally get to leave the hospital.

everyone that i supposedly am friends with came to visit every so often and they would show me pictures and talk to me about nice memories we made together. everyone except him.

luke said we were close, but if we were why didn't he come over?

i had asked the others about why he didn't show up to see me but they'd always just switch the subject.

i was changing my clothes in the bathroom when i heard some people enter my room. i exited the bathroom and saw luke with my mom and my older brother.

"hey, kiddo, you ready to leave?"
"yes. i hate this place." i mumbled and they all laughed.

"no i'm being for real, it sucks having to be here surrounded by constant beeping from monitors and nothing but white walls."
"so let's get a move on then."

we all walked out and we drove back to the hotel that i had a room at with luke when we first came down here to see my family.

luke showed me to our room and i noticed all my stuff along with a cute little tuttle that was sitting on the white bed sheets.

"i gave you that." a voice came from behind me.

i turned around and saw the cute boy luke said was his brother at the door. i think he said his name was jack.

i was so distracted that i didn't even notice the knocking on the door or luke opening the door for his brother to come in.

he walked in and sat next to me on the bed.

"when you came over to our lake house my mom wanted the room to be perfect for you. she had a feeling that you'd be apart of our family for a long time. so when she went room decor shopping she dragged me along. i picked this out for you not knowing you liked turtles but i'm glad i chose that one. when we go back to michigan i think we're all going back to the lake house. i think you'll like it, i mean, you did before."
"yeah, yeah i'll go. hopefully it'll help jog my memory."
"maybe. but it's ok if it doesn't, right?"
"i guess.. i just wish that i could remember for everyone else, not for me."
"why?"
"cause- i don't know. i guess i feel like a big burden. like i don't know anything about anyone except luke. so i feel bad that everyone has to compensate for me. if i was just a little faster at getting to the store then maybe this would have never happened-"
"don't say that, delilah. none of this is your fault. how could've you known that some idiot was gonna crash into you?"
"i-i don't know."
"because you couldn't have. don't bring yourself down because someone else screwed up." he said placing his hand on my shoulder.

i looked up and stared into his bright green eyes. they looked tired like he got no sleep. they were bloodshot red and the bags under his eyes were apparent.

"luke told me we were really close before.. you know."
"yeah, yeah we were..."
"how close?"
"i... just really close. we'd spend almost every day together. i was with you for everything, you were with me for everything."
"how'd we meet?"
"at luke's drafting party for hockey. he brought you over to our house and i took one look at you and could tell i was going to love you. and i was right. you were amazing that day, you burnt your shoulder on a curling iron and i could tell it was bothering you so i took you to my bathroom to at least put some aquaphor on it. you left your clip there that day. i kept it for some reason. i guess i just wanted a piece of you whenever you were gone, which was almost never. then at the lake house i heard you sing for the first time and i thought it was amazing- you were amazing. you played the piano and sang the archer, which is a great song by the way, you've gotten me thrown far into the woods." i laughed at his reference to out of the woods.

"what's your favorite album?"
"folklore, and then lover. but you never told me about that douche james, like dude really expects betty to take him back like that? and then poor august is wondering why he hasn't called her so he hurt two girls. that's why i hate love triangles."
"you know it's fake, right?" i giggled.

"well no duh, i know it's fake." he nudged my shoulder.

"why is lover your second favorite?"
"your favorite song is in lover so i had to get into it. you sang daylight in your room and i was passing by and heard so i stayed and talked to you a bit. you told me that i was an honorary swiftie for the time being. then you made me watch-"
"the reputation stadium world tour. yeah i know."
"y-you know? like did you just remember?"
"i-i guess. i don't know."
"is there anything else, or?"
"it's just that."
"ok, ok. that's good though that's good, you remember something."
"talk to me more, maybe more will come back."
"um, the night we went to the karaoke bar. we drew out of a hat to see who'd we make go on stage and trevor, you and i got picked. trevor sang you belong with me and then nico came up with me and we sang whiskey glasses, then you went up and sang dress. people loved you so much they made you go back and you sang the very first night. alex placed a hat on front of the stage and people actually threw money into it."
i laughed, "so that's how i started the whole music thing?"

"yeah, you have two songs. they're actually doing really well."
"what are they called?"
"under/over and mess it up."
"oh, i made mess it up like last year."
"really?"
"yeah. that's shocking i released that one i remember i hated it."
"well i think aaron convinced you to do it."
"aaron? my producer was aaron dessner?"
"yeah. oh! he sent you a gift to your apartment back home by the way, like a get well gift. my dad brought it in for you. i know a lot of people sent you stuff."
"you had your dad drive to my apartment to put my gifts inside?"
"yeah, i mean he was the only one home and those couldn't just sit there so i asked him to and he said it wasn't a problem, plus you keep that extra key on the door ledge so he used that to get in."
"well tell him i said thank you then."
"of course. i think we're heading back in a couple days."
"yeah.. luke told me we were flying back soon. my mom is sad but it's september so school started already right?"
"yeah it did. but to be honest, delilah, i think you should do online. at least until you're 100% better. you arm is still in a sling and you haven't healed your concussion all the way and you can't remember all the way yet so it probably will be hard."
"yeah but it's better in person so at least i have help."
"w-well you could live with luke and i. a-at least until you can do it on your own but if you ever need help while your brother is gone we could always help."
"i-i don't know, jack.."
"please, deli. plus luke takes some of your classes online you can do them together and it will make me feel so much better if i knew you were ok."
"i-i'll think about it."