🎤🎸Gorillaz One-shots!🎸🥁

💚🥃 Please, I beg of you.. - Murdoc x F!Suicidal!Reader

This was a request by major_gorillazF4n  !

{WARNING: This Includes: Drugs, Suicide attempt.
(Please do not do this, you are loved. <3)}

-Y/N's POV-
_______________________________

I was in my bedroom, trying to hide any of my pills, and other stuff so my boyfriend wouldn't notice. He.. knew I was depressed, and Suicidal. So, he told me he was coming over to keep an eye on me.

I just finished putting away the last of my pills until I heard a soft knock at the door, I got worried and quickly hurried to find some sweatpants so it'll cover up my scars on my legs. I quickly grabbed my Sanrio pajama pants and threw them on (or whatever you want on them !!) and quickly hurried to the door.

I unlocked my three locks on the side of the door and peaked out, seeing Murdoc in a button up black shirt, the top button was open, and a pair of jeans with his Cuban heel boots.

I nervously open the door with a fake smile, he then notices me opening the door and turns to me and smiles.

" 'Ello Dove.. are you doing alroight without me 'ere?"

He smirked and leaned against the doorframe, making me chuckle and grin at him.

"Oh, no.. I always throw Partys every night! It's quite fun actually."

He just snickered and looked down at me.

"With who? Yerself and yer stuffed animals?"

"Hey! They have feelings Y'know."

I crossed my arms and looked away from him.

"But ye.. Just myself and my stuffies."

I weakly smile and look at him, when I looked back he was staring at my chest since I had a tank top on.

"Ahem."

"Eh? OH- uh.. ya! Must be uh.. quite lonely eh?"

He tried to play it off and smile, but I just chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"Wanna come in? I was.. about to make tea.. ya! I was about to make tea."

I smile slightly at him, making him a bit worried as he kissed my forehead and smiled.

"Sure luv, I'd love too."

"Make yourself comfy on the sofa! There's some blankets next to it."

I smiled and went over to my kitchen since it was right next to the door.

I started humming a bit and grabbed out two small cups, and some (favorite flavor! :]) of tea. I went over to the cabinet with the tea bags and got two, when I shut it and looked down, I could see that I still haven't put away my dishes.
There was my large knife in the knife rack, I probably stared at it for maybe about a minute before gripping the tea bags.

I carefully put them down and looked slightly over at the living room where Murdoc was laying down on the sofa, watching TV and had a blanket over him. I nervously let out a shaky breathe as I turned back and grabbed the knife, I put it slightly in my pants so it wouldn't fall. I put the bottom of my tank top over it, and started to walk towards my room.

"I'll be back! I.. forgot something."

I nervously chuckled hoping he would believe it. He just huffed in response as it looked like he was about to fall asleep.

I carefully crept into my room and stepped away from the door, I took out the knife and held it in front of me. My reflection shown back at me.. I looked so weak. So useless.. why would Murdoc want to date me..? Doesn't he know how ugly I am..? Or is he just playing it off to break my heart..

I hated the thought as I untied my pants and pulled them down a bit, taking in a deep breathe and starting to make cuts all over my thighs. I had my mouth covered so Murdoc wouldn't hear me. Tears slightly formed in my eyes, I sniffed and held the knife away from me, I wiped my tears away and put the knife into my dresser.

I gripped onto my tank top as I let out a shaky exhale, I then cleaned up and pulled up my pants.
I looked around and then back out at Murdoc.. looks like he was asleep.. alright. Better then never I suppose.. he probably wouldn't care anyways.. no one would. I went over to my bed and turned on a flashlight, I dug underneath it a bit until I found my bottle of medications the doctor put me on.

There was about 6 left in there, and 4 is only enough to kill me.. I pop it open and put four into my hand, I look at them. My hands were shaky, I had tears rolling down my face already.

"I'm sorry.. I cant be the one you love.."

I held them up to my mouth ready to take them.
I heard the door slam open as I jumped, making me drop the pills and pill bottle.

I looked over at the door in horror, my hands starting to shake even worse as I saw Murdoc standing there. Crying. He looked at me, his breathing was fast..

"M-Murdoc.. w-what are.. "

"Don't.. don't yew DARE. Fucking take those pills.."

I looked at him, still frozen as tears rolled down my reddened cheeks.

"Why.. You probably don't-"

"Don't yew say that, Dove. I love yew with all my fucking passion inside of me.. I luv yew more then satan 'Imself.."

Murdoc took a step forward, I was still frozen in place, I just watched him come closer towards me, I quickly grabbed the pills, making him stop.

"Please, dove.. I beg of yew.. don't do this.."

I could hear the sob he was trying to hold back.
I looked up at him, my eyes blurred from tears. I dropped the pills as I look down, holding onto my head, Murdoc carefully bent down, and held my head into his chest where I sobbed into.

"Don't.. eva, do that again.. please dove.. I don't wanna lose yew.."

Murdoc tightened the grip on the back of my head a bit, I looked back at him with a red face.
He gently kissed my forehead and looked at me, a couple of tears still falling down.

"Do yew wanna watch Bluey..?"
(OR WHATEVER YER FAV CARTOON IS- Mine is Bluey !! :])

I sniffled and wiped my eyes, nodding as he carefully picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist and buried my face into his neck.
He carried me out of my room and closed the door, he sat down on the sofa, grabbing one of my fluffy blankets and covering me up. I looked at the TV, noticing he was already on Hulu.

I snuggled into him and for the rest of the night, we watched Bluey, cuddled, and he even made us my favorite for dinner.

{AGH- I hope it's good.. I tried my best. :[ anyways, sorry I haven't been posting! I've been busy 9_9
Luv yew all !!
-htpcl0uds}