"18 Months," we said.

Chapter 9

*** A/N Hey there! Hope you're enjoying the fic so far. This is my first one so I hope I'm doing this right! I'm not sure how many chapters this story will be, I'm kind of just going with the flow atm. Most of the chapters are unedited/very lightly edited. I'm planning to go back and refine the entire story once it is completely done. Updates will come very randomly. Constructive criticism, comments, and votes are greatly, greatly appreciated. All the love <33 ***

"What about Freddie? Don't you want to be a good father to your little boy? You've been saying the same things for years!" I pulled my hand from his firm grasp and put my head in my hands, defeated.

"I know! I know, Haz!"

"It's always, 'I'm trying' and 'I'll get it under control soon' but it never happens. You've never even tried to quit, Lou." It was silent. "...Do you want to go back to rehab?" he threatened.

"Don't you dare say that." I clenched my fists at my sides, standing up.

"Lou, I will put you back in rehab if you cannot get your fucking smoking under fucking control soon."

"You can't force me to go back to fucking rehab!" Our voices raised slightly. Harry stood up from the loveseat. 

"I can and I will."

"No you can't. I am a grown adult that can make my own fucking decisions." I put my hands on my head. "Why don't you worry about your own issues first before you try to fix mine!" I threw my hands down in frustration.

"What issues?"

"Drinking. And partying."

"What parties have I been going to?" Harry stood up from the cushion too.

"Well you haven't been to as many recently-"

"Exactly."

"That's because we're on tour! You literally went to a party the other night anyway!" I argued.

"When? What are you talking about?"

"Like three nights ago! I can't have you drunk around Freddie, Harry. Don't you want to be a good father to your little boy?" His face reddened with anger.

"I only go to parties when he's at Bri's house for goodness sake!"

"We just got engaged last night, Harry. Don't fuck it up this soon."

"I'm not the one fucking it up!"

"Yeah? Well I'm sure not the one."

My eyes were red with anger. I began walking to our bedroom. "I'm going to bed. You better not act up at family gathering tomorrow." I stopped at the doorway.

"ME?"

"Goodnight."

Last night was the best night of our lives. And today it's all come crashing down. Yes, I do need to get my smoking under control. But, Harry has just as many things heading South in his life as I do. I think Freddie's the glue that holds us together. Without him, neither of us would have the determination to uphold the relationship if it broke. Yeah, Harry doesn't have legal custody over him, but that doesn't matter much most of the time. Haz slipped into the covers just as I drifted off to sleep.

-x-

Tears dripped down my face.

My hands were covered in sweat.

Heaving.

Panting.

Coughing.

It only got worse and worse. The darkened room began to spin. Nausea welled up inside my stomach. I couldn't escape. I was trapped in these four walls.